Why was the child lying in the scrap yard? because he was being torn apart by guard dogs.

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How do you kill a blonde? Shoot her.

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there once was a time before bonerss it sucked it sucked real bad like that kid who never washes his gym closes bad Mason Manning JLR

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A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

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A Muslim, a Jew, and a Christian find a magical lamp with a genie inside. He offers each of them one wish. The Muslim wishes that people didn't look at his people as terrorists. The Jew wishes that the Holocaust never happened, and the Christian wishes for world peace. Actually this didn't happen, Genies don't exist.

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Okay, one second.

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What's yellow, long, hard, and moves up and down? A banana in an elevator...

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Why did the man have a curiously-shaped scar on his cheek? He had been mauled by an owl as a child.

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Yo momma's so poor, that when she went to the soup kitchen, she got food.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Jimmy Tyler, your son Hi son *continues to open door

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Q: What is George Harrison's favorite hairstyle? A: How can we know? He's dead!

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whats 2 + 2? a black guy flying a kite

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what are the three types of rings? -wedding ring -engagement ring -suffering

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Why couldn't Sarah see through her telescope? She was blind

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What do you call a black man eating fried chicken? By his name, which could be John, considering the popularity of said name.

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what does michael jackson do to little boys? nothing, he's dead.

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whats funnier than hugos penis? Nothing!!!!

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is dead.

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Why did the old man fall off his bicycle? Because somebody threw a fridge at him.

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Who won the race across the highway, the Mexican or the Frenchman? Neither, as they were struck by a mac truck when attempting to run across the highway and were both killed instantly on impact.

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Where is the last place you would find a Mexican? In a good hiding spot that you didn't think of while trying to find him.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream ? He got hit by a bus !

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How come the blind black guy couldent read because he is dead

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That's not what she said.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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