What do you call a stupid anti-joke? Stupid.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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knock, knock... no one replies and it becomes obvious that no one is in the house.

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What did the heart surgeon say to the brain surgeon? We are both surgeons

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a man i knew who was a real jerk was about to drive home drunk. i was trying to stop him, but then he punched me in the face. i let him through. he died that night. i texted him all the way

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When a suicide-bomber went to heaven what did Allah give him apart from 72 virgins? 72 mothers in law.

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There is a man who is half black half Jewish. He walking up a hill really fast. What happens to him? Answer: The Jewish side of his body will fall off and the black side will walk away.

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My mother-in-law fell down a stairway. I turned to my wife and said “Call an ambulance!!”

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you ever hear the joke about the rabbi, the pope and an elephant? No? well its a good one...

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Little old lady. Little old lady who? Little old lady who got hit by a bus.

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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why was it funny that the boy got hairspray for christmas because he had leukemia

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Are you from Jamaica? 'Cause you're making me crazy! Are you from Haiti? I'm really sorry about all the disaster that's been happening there.

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whats more annoying than being raped by a giant scorpian? finding out that half the anti-jokes are terrible

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What did Madeline McCann get for Christmas? Nothing she's dead.

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what did the shark do when he died.....

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So 3 Jews walk into a bar, I lied, it was a gas chamber.

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What's the difference between a tigar and a shark? One's a land mammal.

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Congress back then: No sooner had I ended this prayer than a pederast farted on my right. "Hah! a good omen," said I, and prostrated myself; then I burst open the door by a vigorous push with my arse, and, opening my mouth to the utmost, shouted, "Senators, I wanted you to be the first to hear the good news; since the war broke out, I have never seen anchovies at a lower price!"

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have alzheimers, Roses are red

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If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? A question and answering session of information used to test knowledge of a specific idea or person.

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Q:What do you call a bird with wings? A:A bird -Ryan Vallee

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he was peckish.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter it's not going to come to you anyway.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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