Hi

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How do you punish Helen Keller? Send her to her room until she becomes civil enough to explain what was causing her misbehavior.

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Knock, knock Who's there? Not your dead Nan

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What do an elephant and a plum have in common? They're both purple, except for the elephant.

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what happens when you put samuel jackson on a plane with snakes? They make a movie

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What's worrying about a middle-eastern man on a plane? The fact you are worrying about it.

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What did the alcoholic say to his priest? I'm Drunk. The priest says "Your drunk go home". He barely makes it.

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why did the blond walk in to a door because she was not paying attention

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There's my tractor.

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Jesus: I will return. Hitler: Well I am back... Nazi as in Nazireth Bush: As I said I was elected by Gawd. Me: What? What about me? Seriously why did I put myself here? Id have three bullets with them in a room, and id still shoot you six times.

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why was 6 afraid of 7?

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What the corn in the core? The mexican antelope.

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What's brown and sticky? Vomit.

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Q. What did tthe little kid say when the bully punched him? A. Ow.

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Q:What do you get when you mix a tiger and a panda? A:nothing, its impossible

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What crawls on the ground and shoots arrows? Legless Legolas.

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A man is about to rape a girl. Before penetration he carefully and correctly applies a condom as he practices safe sex and is not yet ready to father a child.

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DESERT

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A homeless guy on the brink of starvation found one dollar lying on the street. He took it and bought a lottery ticket at the local drugstore. God was looking down on him with pity that day and decided that day that he would no longer be a vagabond. The next day, the homeless man won the lottery jackpot, worth 100 million dollars. He declared that on that day, he was the luckiest and happiest man alive. He then woke up in a pile trash.

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Someone made a Titanic joke to me today, It was just plane wrong.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Not Michael Jackson!

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Q:what do you call a black man with blonde hair flying a plane? A: A pilot

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roses are red violets suck dick i need a wee

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Where do you live? In a house

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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