What did one Chinese man say to the other? ?????

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How do you kill a blond? Put a scratch and sniff card at the bottom of a pool.

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yous are all f u c k i n g dumb like rat kavanagh

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Why did Suzie fall of the swing? Because she had no arms. Why did she fall of the second time? I pushed her.

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What's black, white and red all over? Nothing, I'm colourblind.

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Wh did Steve Jobs invent the iPhone? Because he was smart.

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A man walks into a bar, sits down and the bartender comes over and asks him what he wants to drink. The man replies, "Carrot Juice."

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What do you call a stupid anti-joke? Stupid.

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im typkiking wifrh myv troes. Sorry, i was typing with my toes.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken crossed the road accidentaly as chickens are absent minded.

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A nig-ger walked up to a lemonade stand and he said to the man running the stand. "do you have any lemonade" the man said "no. we don't serve nig-gers lemonade. but you can drink your own piss boy, thats home made.." the nig-ger waddled away (waddle waddle) till the very next day. The nig-ger walked up to the lemonade stand with a lawsuit file right in his hand and said "you are legally required to serve me lemonade" the man said "fu(k you nig-ger, go back to where you came go back to Africa it's full of aids" the nig-ger said "goodbye".... i'm too lazy too finish this off so i'll spoil the ending, the nig-ger was actually a smelly pakistanian, which was actually a dirty chi-nk in costume. let's just say lawsuits were filed but the lemonade stand owner had casey anthony's lawyer and in the end never had to serve fu-cking nig-gers, smelly pakies or dirty chin-ks again :) The End. Happily Ever After.

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Why did the dog bite justin beiber? Why not?

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Which is longer? A rope...

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A black man rode down the street on a bicycle.

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knock, knock... no one replies and it becomes obvious that no one is in the house.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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There is a man who is half black half Jewish. He walking up a hill really fast. What happens to him? Answer: The Jewish side of his body will fall off and the black side will walk away.

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When a suicide-bomber went to heaven what did Allah give him apart from 72 virgins? 72 mothers in law.

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How many Asians did it take to screw in a lightbulb? 1 Asians are just like every one else

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a man i knew who was a real jerk was about to drive home drunk. i was trying to stop him, but then he punched me in the face. i let him through. he died that night. i texted him all the way

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What did the heart surgeon say to the brain surgeon? We are both surgeons

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what did the shark do when he died.....

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What did Madeline McCann get for Christmas? Nothing she's dead.

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My mother-in-law fell down a stairway. I turned to my wife and said “Call an ambulance!!”

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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