Q: what's red, green and goes over 100 miles per hour? A: a frog in a blender

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Hey i just met you and this is crazy, but heres my penis, so suck it baby.

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What did the man say to his doctor? AHHH AHHHHH OH MY GOD! AHHH OUCH HOLY SHIT FUUUUUUCK!!!... ____/\_____/\_____/\___________________

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the road was clear of oncoming traffic.

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why didn't the chicken cross the road. Because it was hit by a truck.

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A momma cow was grazing in the meadow with her three calves when the first one asked, "Mom, how did I get the name Rose? "Well when you were born, a rose pedal came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The second calf asked, "How did I get the name Daisy?" "Well when you were born, a daisy came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The third calf mumbled, "LKJLSKJFSLKJLKSJDF" incoherently, and the Mom responded, "Shut up, Cinderblock."

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a boy fell in mud... a kid took a bath with bubbles... bubbles was the girl next door!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got ran over by a car

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whats black white and read all over a zebra bleeding to death because a zombie just attacked it and then it attackeed the zombie

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200,000 people are homeless! ...this year in america!

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What do you call a zebra without stripes? A stripeless zebra.

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How many kids with ADHD does it take to change a lightbulb? Wanna go bike riding?

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Jersey Shore

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What happened when the Texan saw snow for the first time? He said "Oh my goodness this is cool"

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A man walks into the doctors and he says to the doctor 'my leg hurts when I poke it like this'. The doctor replies 'don't poke it like that then'.

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I have a joke. Okay, tell me. Just kidding

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So a man walks into a bar, He says, "Hey bartender! Can I have some beer?" The bartender says, "Sure!" and hands the man a Bud Light. The man drinks the Bud Light and leaves afterward.

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Why has Bugs Bunny got big ears Because he's a rabbit

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A Jew,Spiderman and The Incredible Hulk all jump off the top of the Empire State Building,who hits the ground first? The Jew because the other two dont exist

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How many light bulbs does it take to screw a blonde? 3.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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roses are red violets are blue however some roses are pink

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs, flotaing in the sea? Someone who will drown very soon.

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What is the difference between a duck. One of its legs are both the same.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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