Know what's worse than three bee stings? living every day in fear of your schizophrenic hallucinations

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What was the last thing Batman said to Robin before they got in the Batmobile Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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how do you fix a family? Someone gives in

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A woman walks into a doctor's office and says "Doctor, my water just broke." The doctor replies "Get off my carpet."

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What did the man with Alzheimer's get for Christmas? Happy New Year!

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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Do you want to know a funny joke Answer- Kieran Reynolds HAHAHAHAHA This is not Daniel Lesiak

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A boy says he is going to commit suicide. To stop him, a friend tells him not to do it, he'll regret it later in life.

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Someone stole my cookie from the cookie jar! So I bought another cookie.

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What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection? A quarter ponder with cheese.

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How many Aumish farmhands does it take to operate a state of the art commercial laser-cutter? One,provided he has the relevant training and experience.

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Once upon a time, there was a horse that had no legs, it laid on the ground it's entire life and died. The end.

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What did the kid say when his parents were killed? Nothing. He's a vegetable

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What did the lady find out when she went to the doctor. She had breast cancer.

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Women's rights

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If a vegetarian only eats vegetables, then what does a humanitarian eat?

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what do you call a 19th century steam train driver ? i dont know , depends what his mother named him

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Dylan F fell off a bridge Landed in some water and was ok 2 days later he got bit by a shark He is now in a coma

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What does Tourettes Syndrome have in common with short term memory loss? I DON'T FREAKING REMEMBER.

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1st guy: Wanna hear a joke? 2nd guy: Yeah sure. 1st guy: Me too.

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Why really answer a question when you can just respond, "because you touch yourself." For example, Q: Why did fluffy die? A: Because you touch yourself.

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How do you fit 3 squirtles two bulbasors and a charmander in a smart car You poke em on

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What has the head of a lion, the body of a mule, and the penis of a seal? Nothing... what the hell did you think it was? Are you on drugs or something?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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