A man walks out of a bar followed by the people he came with because they just announced "last call". The man is the designated driver for the night.

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-I once had a dog with no legs, and do you know how I named him? -...? -I didn't name him, he wouldn't come...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the farmer cross the road? To pick up the dead chicken

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There are two people in this world; people who finish their sentences and people who

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Want to hear a dirty joke? A pig fell in the mud.

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What is black and gray? This rectangle and this text.

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A man walks into a bar.... no wait! It's a horse! A man walks into a horse...

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What is Green and taste like an apple? An Apple

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Knock Knock! Hmm. I'm not expecting anyone. It's probably just a telemarketer, and I'm not very interested in purchasing anything at the moment. I won't answer it.

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What's worse than ten dead babies? Not much.

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What do you call an Indian cook, that cooks in a Chinese restaurant? A chef

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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What's the difference between an elephant and I?Our mass.

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Bryce Harlan and I are close friends Love, Pete K

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what do you get when you combine fire and water? alcohol

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Q) You know how I know your gay A) Cuz your gay

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A blonde is standing on the edge of a 20-story building. He's had a rather rough life.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Whats even funnier than watching two black guys with guns attempting to shoot people Just about everything

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why did the chicken cross the road. why? because he felt like it

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Yo mama is so stupid, she has a sub-par intelligence quota.

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Roses are red Violets are blue My dad drinks a lot Help Me

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how do you get a clown to fall off a swing? hit it with an axe

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops