What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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did u here bout the guy who found 500 dollars on the ground? yup he is 500 dollars richer

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So a guy walks into a bar. He asks the woman next to him, ''Can I buy you a drink?'' The woman says,''No thank you.''

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Whats the difference between a Duck? One of its legs are both the same.

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Two generals went for a trip, it went very well in general.

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What did the milk say to the oatmeal? I came from a cow nipple.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger. Unless it's muscular dystrophy.

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A donkey walks into a supermarket and asks the cashier "Where are the potatoes?" The cashier replies "aisle 3" The donkey goes to aisle 3 And there are no potatoes

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Roses are red Violets are blue Poetry is hard And so is wood

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What's brown, dirty, and smells like feces? Feces

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If I threw a regular snowball at a random snowman, would my action directly result in the increase of the snowman's size or would it rather have caused to snowball to become substantially larger in succession? Only a few people could answer that question. Not all of us are actually philosophy aficionados after all.

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What did the football coach say to fire up his team? Nothing. He was not legally allowed to say anything to his team as they were being locked out by the coach's boss, the owner of the team and anything that he said to them could lose him his job.

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Knock Knock Who's there? I said who's there? The man opens the door to find there was no one there and begins to shake in fear as his schizophrenia is getting worse.

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If your uncle jack helped you off your horse, would you help your uncle jack off a horse? Yes

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what did the therapist say to the other therapist? WE'VE SAID THIS WAY TOO MANY TIMES YOU SHIT

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What did the farmer say to the cow on the roof? Get off the roof.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead all walk into a bar. Because, often, friends go out together in social situations.

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What do grass and cows have in common? They both say "moo" except for grass

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How do you make a tissue dance? Blow a little boogie in it!

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What kinds of children go to heaven dead ones

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Why was the little boy upset? An arson set fire to his house, leaving him nowhere to live.

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How many Jews fit in an oven? Nein

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Why did the plan crash? Because the pilot was a potato

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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