How to you stop the world from ending? You dont the world has been destroyed 5 times over again before and it will most likely happen to us one day.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What did winter say to summer? Nothing. Seasons are physically incapable of speaking because they are not living things. They are simply an idea made by humans to explain why the weather changes as the sun spins around the earth.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why didn't the caterpillar turn into a butterfly? Because it was a cheeto

thumb_up thumb_down -28

a man walks into a bar, and says "can i get a beer please?" the bartender hands him his beer, and as soon as the man starts to take a drink, the man dies of a massive heart attack because of his unhealthy lifestyle

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Your mother's so fat, her blood type was Ragu

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why does Santa Clause not have children? Because he only "comes" once a year

thumb_up thumb_down -28

A zucchini is walking down the street, when he spots a cucumber club on his left hand side. Having nothing else to do he decides to walk in. When he walks into the club all of the cucumbers stop and stare at this strange being in their club. Finally, after having one too many drinks, one cucumber decides that this ridiculousness has gone on long enough and it is up to him to say something, so he goes up to the zucchini and says, "Hey buddy, what's your problem, clearly you are in a cucumber club and you're a zucchini." The zucchini just looks at him, puzzled, and responds " A cucumber club? I thought this was a ucumber club!!!!!"... It's funny because zucchinis are dyslexic.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Where does someone who has lost his arm, has a bleeding head, is mentally ill, has strep throat, and lung cancer go? Too late, they died.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Nope, but yeah Felix looks a lot like Mickey Mouse, I think, nah it was Oswald the Lucky rabbit I believe, and he used to get his ass kicked by... Damn, what`s the name of the fat cat that beat up Mickey in steamboat willie?

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What's the diffrence between one black guy and another black guy. One of them has Aids.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Roses are red... Violets are blue... Unless your colour blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Now that I'm of age to go clubbing, I feel sorry for the seals.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

What is the answer to the question of Life, the Universe and Everything? That doesn't make any sense.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Q. Why can't Stevie wonder read? A. Because he is black

thumb_up thumb_down -40

a customer walks into a store and says, "the customer is always wrong." the employee replies, "no, the customer is always right." "you just contradicted yourself."

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Q: If Hitler spots a jew, what will he do? A: You suck at history dude, Hitler is dead! Moral: What? You did not get the daily news?

thumb_up thumb_down -50

How is a raven like a writing desk? It isn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -60

knock knock whos there the game _______I LOST THE GAME_______

thumb_up thumb_down +67

A lawyer gets admitted to a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Why did the black man jump off the cliff? He was in a spiraling depression due to recently being laid off at work, his troubled home life, and the recent death of his sister.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

What is green and has weels? A green bycicle.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Roses are grey, Violets are grey, Im a dog. RUUUFFF!

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Why did the chicken cross the road? He looked both ways and saw there was no traffic.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

what did bob say to joey, nothing joey's dead

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops