How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. Question is, how did they get in there?

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Sure, if my waifu aproves, hell, the more the hornier. CONDOMS? ARE YOU INSANE? CONDOMS ARE FOR PUSSIES... ..:WHIIIIIICH sorta makes sense so okay, my for a moment I thought you where not gonna go trough with this... Nah just kidding, I already got you, now if you want to break free I am gonna be like "MEH!" So, uh, you shaven or not? Please dont be "trimmed", sometimes it just looks like a pussy with a mustachio, thats bullshit.

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Honestly though bud, are you wasted? XD

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Q: What do you call an American who has both Irish and Italian ancestry? A: An American.

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Why did the chicken cross the road Because it's a free country chickens are free to do as they please

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What did the farmer say to the cow on the roof? Get off the roof.

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What do you call an arab flying a 747? A pilot.

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What dies but was never living? The hopes and dreams of small children.

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Whats worse than malaria? Dying from it.

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There is a cat with a collar animal control takes of the coller and and says who cares it's not Our fault there cat is an outdoor cat the girl who lost her cat was crying all year long spending all her money wishing for her cat back and wishing that there was no such thing as animal control That girl was me and I'm against animal control

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whats the one about not giving a crap? oh yea this one

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What's it called when Justin Bieber has sex? Sex. The specific person partaking in sexual intercourse does not change the term used to describe it.

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A boy wakes up in the morning and says i"'m feeling kind of fishy today," the boy's dad walks in and relpies "that's because you are a fish."

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What is orange and smells like a jewish cat. Nothing

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What do you get when you have 10 kids in a church? A lot of rape cases.

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What was Steve Jobs' favorite fruit? Grapes.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Louis. Louis? Go away!!! Your jokes are so bad! Geez, you guys really don't like me. GET OUT!!! (Door slams; Louis shuffles away with a sad look on his face) -Louis

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What goes in dry, comes out wet and pleases two people. A teabag, you pervert.

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Why did I write this anti-joke? Because I am generally not that funny.

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what do all 21 year olds have in common? there all 21

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Why was the old man on the floor? He fell

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What do you call a black man speeding away in a Ferrari. A wealthy man who is late for work.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead all walk into a bar. Because, often, friends go out together in social situations.

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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