A grasshopper hops into a bar and orders a drink. "Hey! We have a drink named after you!" exclaims the bartender. "You have a Melanoplus Differentialis?" asks the grasshopper. "Yes."

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How do you fit a homosexual man into a small card board box? You cut him into pieces.

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Why is the sky blue? The sun reflects off the water molecules in all bodies of water

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What is small and gives people courage? Certain kinds of illegal drugs

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How do you get a Jew into a car? Tell him to get in the car.

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once upon a time, a bird fell in love with a fish.. they both died.

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Do you know what is worse than getting kicked downstairs? Getting kicked upstairs because then you could fall downstairs and break your skull.

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A girl was walking home from school, she had a pizza box in her hands, her mom was waiting for her in the car to take her to T.G.I.F, and then she dropped the pizza box in the middle of the street. In a frantic attemp to get the box, she run out into the middle of the street and got hit by a semi. Her funeral is tomorrow.

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whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? A: a pizza is a food that was created in italy and is regularly eaten daily around the world and a jew is a religion that is constantly criticized and made fun of because they are different.

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Q: What happened to the blonde who tried to commit suicide? A: She died.

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What's the difference between Chuck Norris and broccoli? A lot.

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What do you call a large group of Apes attacking San Francisco? Well, it isn't called anything but coincidentally there is a movie called Rise of the Planet of the Apes which was released August 5, 2011 starring James Franco and Andy Serkis. -David Bruggen

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What do you call a comedian who can;t make people laugh? A bad comedian.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your real father. I left you when you were a month old and I have regretted the decision ever since. I would like to be a part of your life.

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Why did the Mexican jump the fence? Because he didn't feel like walking around the house to the side where the gate was to get out of the backyard

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Roses are red, Violets are black, Why is your chest, as flat as your back

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Why did the groom have cold feet? Because he was insecure in his relationship with his soon to be wife.

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Whats the best ab workout? Solly Twist

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What do you call the man who graduated medical school last in his class? Doctor

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Whats the differense between a pile of dead babies and a Farrari I actually have a Farrari in my garage.

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Police Officer: Please step out of the car, sir Jimmy: Xbox...

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have you seen Stevie Wonders house? Nope. oh well sorry for bothering you

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Q: What did the peanut say to the shell? A: Its dark in here.

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Justin's humor

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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