Q: What did the farmer say when he coudn't find his tractor? A: "where's my tractor?"

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why did timmy die he was shot in the head by terrorists

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the girl crossed a road to shoot a black van. she shot the sherrif.

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Don't you sometime just want to chop of your toes and stomp around to prove to the so called 'experts' that it is possible for a person to walk without toes? . . . . . . me neither

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What did the lady find when she walked through the door? Her husband stabbing himself to death because she ate his cornflakes

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what the **** is wrong with kieran scotts forhead!

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why was the boy sad. his father is an alcoholic that beats him daily.

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what happend to the kid standing on a railway, he got hit by a train

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Why did the slut have white stuff on her mouth? Because she just ate ice-cream.

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"life is like a box of chocolates", except you cant eat life and hocolate doesnt rain on you.

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Whats the most common use of a butt plug after school? In the sport of pole vaultIng, the butt plug is the rubber end of the pole that is designed to withstand the force of being planted in a steel box.

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If life give you lemons, throw them at people.

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Dad: i hate you. dads son:(kills him self)

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What's the difference between jam and jelly? Jelly is a clear or translucent fruit spread made from sweetened fruit juice, and set using naturally occurring pectin. Jam contains both fruit juice and pieces of fruit.

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Why did the man's legs start shaking when he saw the attractive women? There was an earthquake

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What is 0% sugar, 100% pure, 150% hyperbole, 90% bug-free, has 4815162342 lines of code, autonomous, is awesome, bigger than a breadbox, bread is pain, is bringin' home the bacon, classy, doesn't use the U-word, deja vu, deja vu (oh wait a moment), does barrel rolls doesn't avoid double negatives, doesn't bother with clones, Engage!, Enhanced!, Euclidean!, Excitement!, Exploding creepers, Finally complete!, finger-licking, full of stars, funky LOL, GOTY, Give Us Gordon, Indev, Ingots, and has an End? Minecraft!

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Why did the little kid fall off the rollercoaster? His dad threw him off.

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Why doesn't Michael Jackson like toast? Because he's dead.

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Why does the gay person where a leather motorcycle suit? Because he drives motorcycles.

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SCP-009-J is missing. Where has it gone? Is it under the table? Was it sat upon? Is it there on the ceiling? Is it under the rug? Was it gobbled right up by a quantum pillbug? Did it run through the tunnel? Did it fall down the stair? Was it sent back in time to a carnival fair? Did it get on a train to a far-away place? Is it locked in a falsified beacon from space? Did it fall in the oobleck and [DATA EXPUNGED]? If it clogged up the sink, will it have to be plunged? Just where has SCP-009-J gotten to? Oh wait, that's right! SCP-009-J is you!

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My name is Harry.

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GONNA

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why does god like Justin Bieber? He can't god doesn't like the devil.

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How do you make a mime talk? Put a gun to his head.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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