Why did the baby cross the road? It's abusive father punted it.

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Two Blondes walk into a bar. They each enjoy a refreshing drink before heading home to greet their family

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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rosses are red voilets are pinkey your mams pussy is really stinky

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knock knock whos there? knock knock whos there knock knock you final decide to open the door to find a deaf man needing directions.

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What do you call shark with no dorsal fin? Unused ingredients for soup.

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knock knock whose there the hospital staff your mom just died of AIDS

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What happened to the cat that fell in the bath? It jumped out feeling cold and embarrassed.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Shoulda had a V8 ...or not because I am severely allergic to tomato's.

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What does the young boy say to the gay man Hello Jacob, because he was raised to respect and treat gays equally

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How to you get a clown off a swing? You shoot it in the face.

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What happens to a warehouse on a full moon? Nothing

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What does an unemployed black man and a mexican have in common? They both like to shop at forman mills because they have reasonably priced clothing items.

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Doctor, Doctor, I feel like there's two of me! There's not. Your long lost twin died of terminal cancer.

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Why can't Hellen Keller play hide and go seek? Because she is dead.

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What is invisible and smells like carrots? The smell of Carrots. Pretty sure you can't see smells.

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What do you call a group of angry unemployed black guys? The NBA

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A man is gay, a parade is held in his honor. A man is black, a holiday is named after him. A man is white, he laughs at the stupidity in the world today.

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Yesterday I saw a black kid outrun a white kid know why? Because the white kid was a cripple

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Did you hear the joke about Helen Keller? No. You don't need to, it's quite inappropriate.

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Pineapples have a smaller volume than the sun

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What did the scientist call a spider? An arachnid.

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What looks like a chair but isn't? A picture of a chair.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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