What does a Jewish Santa Clause say? This scenario is highly improbable as Jews celebrate Hanukkah and not Christmas.

Sticks and stones may break my bones... and my pistol will kill you.

Why is a bulldog so aggressive Because it was raised for dog fights in basements Dog fights aren't right kids, and you should never get involved but if you find yourself in the cage fighting one of the dogs, you should really think about how you got there.

That moment when you try and finger your girlfriend and there no hole......and you start questioning your sexuality

I AM DEAD, FUCKING, SERIOUS! NOW GET OVER HERE MOMMY I WANT TO... ...Thats pretty disgusting, I was born a man, maybe an infant man, but a man regardless. So how about you stop showcasing me to people here and we just take off? I mean I am dead tired and sleepy, I would say good night, but its day here now so yeah.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, most chickens are held on farms, but those that do roam free are afraid of automobiles so therefore they wouldn't go near a road at all. But if the chicken was located in a deserted town there would be no traffic, so then it would be able to cross freely over any road there and not get injured or mortally wounded.

How do you wake up lady gaga? Poke her face

Why does one not simply walk into Mordor? Mordor doesn't really exist and thus is physically impossible to walk into, or enter by any means really.

What do an elephant and a plum have in common? They're both purple, except for the elephant.

Your dad is so fat, that eventually he got on Biggest Loser and ended living a very successful life.

A black man walks into a bank with a gun......he is a 25-year veteran SWAT team officer attempting to arrest two armed robbers that have 5 old ladies hostage.

4 gay guys walk into a bar but there is only one bar stool, where do they sit? They go to a different bar

poop is very very yummy.

why was the boy sad. his father is an alcoholic that beats him daily.

what happend to the kid standing on a railway, he got hit by a train

Someone made a Titanic joke to me today, It was just plane wrong.

IM SEXY AND I KNOW IT Chrysanthemums are pretty but toads and people are damn to horny

What do you call a black man with a gun? A cop

People made fun of a plant for walking into a bar. Little did they know it hadn't been watered for days.

If you don't see banners here, it doesnt mean their not there...

What do friends and potatoes have in common? If you eat them, they will die.

But one McDonalds Happy Meal for the price of two, and receive another McDonalds Happy meal absolutley free!

the girl crossed a road to shoot a black van. she shot the sherrif.

Q: What did the farmer say when he coudn't find his tractor? A: "where's my tractor?"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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