what the difference between matthew and a retard? The retard can do math

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Why would you ever buy an antijoke book? BECAUSE ANTIJOKES ARE F***ING AWESOME!!!

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Oh yeah? Well you're as gay as this joke!

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Nobody, you got ding-dong-ditched

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i may not know where you sleep. but, i spiked your drink with sleeping pills

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What time is it when you should go to the dentist? About ten minutes before whatever happens to be the time of your appointment.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock-knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

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why was the blind man walking in circles? i dont know ask him yourself.

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A man adopts an orphan. He waits till the child is a teenager to tell the news. He then commits suicide as to scar the child emotionally for the rest of its life.

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Where's Waldo? Six feet under.

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"I have some good news and some bad news, which do you want to hear first?" The good news. "There is no bad news." Then what's the bad news? "There is no bad news.

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Q: What do you call a black person with one leg? A: In modern American society, it is proper etiquette to adress somebody by their first name.

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What is pink, smelly, and sometimes gets wet? A pink sponge.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7. Because 7 is a registered sex offender.

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. His death was mourned by his wife and three children who wished he would not have been so reckless.

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What do you call A potato who is covered in red refrigerators and is known as a potato. Fallafal

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Q:What Did The Man Say When He Lost His Body A:Nothing He Die. Because If You Ever Lost Your Body You Would Die...

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What happened to the guy that got hit by a bus. He died

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A teenage girl walks into a dark alley. She emerges on the other side completely unharmed.

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Knock Knock Whose there? Yes I am a convicted child molester and by state law I must go door-to-door explaining the many cruel and vigorous crimes I have committed.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because people have encroached on it's natural habitat.

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Why can't Demetrius swim? Because he has a genetic disorder where he is paralyzed from the waste down, so he is therefore incapable of propelling himself through the water

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What's worse than the holocaust? Two holocausts What's worse than two holocausts? Twilight

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Roses are grey Violets are gray Imma dog

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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