Once there was a rich man who lived in a castle on a hill. One fine morning who awoke and decided to go downstairs to make a cup of tea. As he switched on the kettle, he realised he had no tea bags, and so, went to the local shops to buy some – but when he arrived back, his magnificent castle had been burnt down to the ground. The man, obviously shocked, looked around in hope for some evidence as to who would commit this awful crime, but he saw nothing, apart from a little green man running off into the distance. The man calls insurance and they give him a mansion. One morning in the man’s fine mansion, he decided he wanted a nice cup of tea, so went downstairs, discovered he had no teabags, went to the shop to purchase some and came back to find his mansion was no more than a pile of ash. Once again he looked around and saw nothing other than a little green man running off into the distance. The man calls insurance for a second time and they give him a normal house. One morning in the man’s normal house, he feels the need for a cup of tea. But has no teabags, he goes to the shop to get some and comes back to find his normal house has burnt down. In the distance a little green man is running away. Insurance give the man a small cottage. And one morning in this small cottage, the man goes downstairs to make a cup of tea, but once again he has no teabags. Off to the shops he went to buy some but discovered, as he approached his cottage on the way home, that it had been burnt down. He looked around to see the now familiar sight of a little green man running off into the distance. Insurance give him a caravan. One morning in the caravan, the man discovers, while attempting to make a cup of tea, that he has no teabags. So, naively, he goes to the shop to get some and comes back to his caravan to find it burnt down. He looked up and saw a little green man running off into the distance. The now annoyed insurance company give the man a tent. One sunny morning in the man’s tent - he feels the need for tea, but has no teabags; he goes to the shop to buy some and arrives back at his tent to find a little green man holding a can of gasoline and some matches. The man asks: “are you the one who has been burning down all my houses?” And the little green man replies: “No.”

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look in the sky! its a bird, its a plane........ Its Miles

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Knock Knock Who's there? A human pretending to be a dog A human pretending to be a dog who? Errr...I mean...woof

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What do you call an Irish man with no legs? Handicapped

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whats the same about a spider and a grape? they both have eight legs, except for the grape.

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When life gives you lemons, throw them at pedestrians.

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what do a parrot and a hippo have in common? i want to kill every non white human being!!!!

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Chuck norris doesnt mow his lawn, He calls someone to do it for him and then he pays them a great deal of money considering he has a large lawn.

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You ask a German how long it takes to go from Berlin to Amsterdam. He replies, ''About four hours by tank."

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drugs sex alcohol are as funny as AIDS

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if you dont like sponge bob refrences.......... THEN **DOLPHIN NOISE*** you

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--"Do you like impressions?" -Yeah! --"Why?" ................... --"That was Socr-ates."

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Why did the bus crash? What, you were expecting an answer? I was asking you

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Why did they bury the pope on the side of the hill? Because he is dead

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That is so sweet of you, for a moment I thought I had said something that might have insulted you, but then again, considering the length of the message I see why it took so long.

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Roses are red, violets are blue i've got a gun, pointing at you

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Hey we just met And this is crazy But my name's Kony And I stole your baby

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How do you talk to a mentally challenged person? You use words in a sequential order that would make sense grammatically

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Why doesn't little billy eat his vegetables at the dinner table... Because billy has bin dead for 3 years

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Scenario- A wedding while skydiving. Problem- The groom lost his parachute. Question- Who stole it? Hint- The Maid of Honor didn't have one either, but he had one on his body when he hit the ground. Answer- The mailman, but he died of old age.

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Is this the krusty krab? NO! THIS IS red lobster, how many i help you?

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why did the black man die? the man bled out, and doctors did everything they could.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I told you she was my Mom, but that didn't stop you!

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What has a mouth but cant talk Helen keller What has eyes but cant see Helen keller What has ears but cant hear You guessed it an ear of corn

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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