Roses are red, Violets are blue, i got 5 Fingers, the middle ones for you ?

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What did the poor family eat for thanksgiving? Food

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What's worse than finding a worm in your Apple? Ebola

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What do you call a guy who can't get a girlfriend? Me.

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What do you call the man who graduated medical school last in his class? Doctor

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How do you make a Russian baby cry? Punch it in the face

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Whats the best ab workout? Solly Twist

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Q: What is George Harrison's favorite hairstyle? A: How can we know? He's dead!

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Why didn't the woman cook dinner for her husband? She had to work late.

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Why did the first squirrel fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Peer Pressure. Why did Bobby fall off his bike? He was hit by 4 squirrels Why did bobby die? He was hit by a bus

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Did you hear about the guy who fell out of the stands at the ranger game? He died.

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Why did someone see a penguin walking in the desert? They were dreaming, because Penguins waddle and live in the Arctic.

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Why did the Jew have very bad gas? He had very rough anal sex and air got stuck up his bum

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Roses are red Violets are astronaut This joke didn't make sense I'll kill u with a rake

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Why did the man have a curiously-shaped scar on his cheek? He had been mauled by an owl as a child.

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Pete and Repete are sitting on a fence. Pete falls off. Pete suffers from a scraped knee and a bruised tailbone.

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*spongebob voice* 25

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Why is the sky blue? I don't know I thought you knew

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is dead.

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I'm so hot my father calls me son.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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What happens when you lay a diamond in the water for two hours? It gets wet.

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You know why Michael J Fox can dance like it's 1999? because he's a really good dancer.

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Why did the murder walk up to the lady in the car? It was his mom.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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