- Anti Joke

Why did the Mexican choose the blue marker over the green one? Because he his favorite color was green, and it was Opposite Day.

I really might try and kill myself when I get home tonight.

What's clear and wet? water

Three aliens land in the middle of New York City. There is a huge media story about the first extraterrestrial life to be discovered on Earth.

Jerry: Hey, do you smell that? It kinda smells like updog. Moe: What's updog?

Why was the women's basketball player laughed at. The slippery floor caused her to stumble and fall.

Why was the little boy crying? Because a stranger shoved explosives up his butthole.

Phone rings Hello? Hi, is your refrigerator running? No, it actually broke down yesterday. Are you the repair man? Yes, the repairs will cost $400

What's green , has 4 legs and if it fell out of tree on you , would hurt you ? A Pool table

There was a girl who was allergic to peanuts she ate peanuts and died the next day. She got hit by a bus.

My grandmother always said "slow and steady wins the race."...... She died in a fire

What have a blueberry and a raspberry got in common? They both can't ride a skateboard

What's worse than a worm in your apple? Captchas.

What do you call a black priest? Someone devoted to the word of god

Why did the fish swim away from the boat when the fishermen put him back in the water? Because he obviously wasn't gonna get back in the boat.

A spaceship enters a black hole. A spaceship enters a black hole. A spaceship enters a black hole.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

What does the scouter say about his power level? It's over 9'000!!!!!!!!

How come the man couldnt read the directions? He was reading it upside down.

Q: Why is the Universe so big? A: Because it is the same size as my penis.

what do you call a Muslim flying a plane A pilot

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? because she was SHITFACED!!!!

Who is blue and smells like green paint? Matt Daly

What starts with N, ends with R, and is a black guy? NeighboR!

Did you hear about the plane that crashed and killed 1000 people? My sister has cancer.

Why did the Mexican choose the blue marker over the green one? Because he his favorite color was green, and it was Opposite Day.

I really might try and kill myself when I get home tonight.

What's clear and wet? water

Three aliens land in the middle of New York City. There is a huge media story about the first extraterrestrial life to be discovered on Earth.

Jerry: Hey, do you smell that? It kinda smells like updog. Moe: What's updog?

Why was the women's basketball player laughed at. The slippery floor caused her to stumble and fall.

Why was the little boy crying? Because a stranger shoved explosives up his butthole.

Phone rings Hello? Hi, is your refrigerator running? No, it actually broke down yesterday. Are you the repair man? Yes, the repairs will cost $400

What's green , has 4 legs and if it fell out of tree on you , would hurt you ? A Pool table

There was a girl who was allergic to peanuts she ate peanuts and died the next day. She got hit by a bus.

My grandmother always said "slow and steady wins the race."...... She died in a fire

What have a blueberry and a raspberry got in common? They both can't ride a skateboard

What's worse than a worm in your apple? Captchas.

What do you call a black priest? Someone devoted to the word of god

Why did the fish swim away from the boat when the fishermen put him back in the water? Because he obviously wasn't gonna get back in the boat.

A spaceship enters a black hole. A spaceship enters a black hole. A spaceship enters a black hole.

Anti Joke

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

MOAR??

What does the scouter say about his power level? It's over 9'000!!!!!!!!

How come the man couldnt read the directions? He was reading it upside down.

Q: Why is the Universe so big? A: Because it is the same size as my penis.

what do you call a Muslim flying a plane A pilot

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? because she was SHITFACED!!!!

Who is blue and smells like green paint? Matt Daly

What starts with N, ends with R, and is a black guy? NeighboR!

Did you hear about the plane that crashed and killed 1000 people? My sister has cancer.

Why did the Mexican choose the blue marker over the green one? Because he his favorite color was green, and it was Opposite Day.

I really might try and kill myself when I get home tonight.

What's clear and wet? water

Three aliens land in the middle of New York City. There is a huge media story about the first extraterrestrial life to be discovered on Earth.

Jerry: Hey, do you smell that? It kinda smells like updog. Moe: What's updog?

Why was the women's basketball player laughed at. The slippery floor caused her to stumble and fall.

Why was the little boy crying? Because a stranger shoved explosives up his butthole.

*Phone rings* Hello? Hi, is your refrigerator running? No, it actually broke down yesterday. Are you the repair man? Yes, the repairs will cost $400

What's green , has 4 legs and if it fell out of tree on you , would hurt you ? A Pool table

There was a girl who was allergic to peanuts she ate peanuts and died the next day. She got hit by a bus.

My grandmother always said "slow and steady wins the race."...... She died in a fire

What have a blueberry and a raspberry got in common? They both can't ride a skateboard

What's worse than a worm in your apple? Captchas.

What do you call a black priest? Someone devoted to the word of god

Why did the fish swim away from the boat when the fishermen put him back in the water? Because he obviously wasn't gonna get back in the boat.

A spaceship enters a black hole. A spaceship enters a black hole. A spaceship enters a black hole.

Anti Joke

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

MOAR??

Phone rings Hello? Hi, is your refrigerator running? No, it actually broke down yesterday. Are you the repair man? Yes, the repairs will cost $400