What is worse than a worm in your apple? An apple in your worm!!!

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What do you call ugly? Dionne Dodds

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What do you call a puppy with no eyes? Ugly.

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Why did little Jimmy cry when his Rolls Royce got destroyed? Because his parents were in it.

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What is brown and sticky. Hot chocolate.

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Why didn't Rebecca Black take the bus? Because she would have had a heart attack with all of the seat choices.

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- kellen says to bill "your a fruit cake" - bill say to raj "your a gypsy" - raj says to kellen "you have gingevitis" R.I.P kellen 2012

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Why was Sally crying because a flock Of seagulls just took a shit in her head

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8================================================================================================D-------------------------------------------- It can coil!

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roses are red violets are blue my poems mite be ugly and so are u

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What is the most common cause of pedophilia? Sexy kids.

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i may not know where you sleep. but, i spiked your drink with sleeping pills

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Gingers.

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What did the gay man do last night? Had a curry

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I'm innocent its all Taggart he's the one instigating.

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Why didnt the car turn on? Cause the keys werent in the ignition

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

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Goodbye to the people who hated on me.

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A Muslim walks into a bomb shop. Unfortunately for the bomb shop owner, the Muslim was a police officer. He proceeded to arrest the owner and the employees of the store, as it turned out that the selling of these particular explosive devices were illegal. They ended up in jail, and justice was served.

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whats red and bad for your teeth? A Brick

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have difficulty understanding each other.

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I like my coffee like I like my women..... Without Hepatitis.

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Let's go burn down an orphanage, what are they gonna do tell their parents?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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