Ask me if I am a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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Why did the girl fall off the swings? -because she had no arms

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How do you blindfold and Asian? By using a sturdy bandanna, cloth, any other object to avert ones view.

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women's rights.

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"We all miss somebody a lot every now and then, its only human! But never give up, just keep reloading and firing until you hit that somebody!" Moral: Moral, answer me, MORAL MOOOOORAAAAAAAAL! DUN DU DURUN, DUN DUN DUN! *gunshot* (The moral section just because I love them red thumbs ^^)

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What happened to the peanut who went to NYC? Nothing because he was eaten on the plane

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(This is a joke made up by the young son of a friend of mine many years ago. It is still one of my favorite jokes.) Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Yo mama is so fat that she has to buy plus size clothes because small size clothes would be inappropriate for her to wear.

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How do you save a black man from drowning? You throw him a flotation device.

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How do you scare a blonde woman? Tie her up and mutilate her family while she watches.

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What's the difference between a plane and a Muslim dentist? A plane hasn't dedicated its life to the study of dentistry

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How do you drown a blond? Glue a mirror to the bottom of a pool!

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Why couldn't Harry Potter get a job at Mc Donalds? Because he isn't real.

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Why couldn't the boy sing? The boy could sing, but the thick layer of duct tape prevented him from doing so.

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What did Kim Kardashian say when she got a breast implant? DERP!

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What did one muffin say to the other in the oven? Nothing. They're muffins.

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Why was the blonde sent to prison? Well there could be a number of reasons, but I for one do not know this specific blonde so I can not help you.

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What do you call somebody pimping out their bitches for very large amounts of money???? A dog breeder.

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Yo momma so fat when god said let there be light he said get the fuck out the way!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Get in the van.

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Roses are blue Violets are red Crap, I already messed up the joke.

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A dislexic man walks into a bra. He then proceeds to enjoy the breasts that he has stumbled upon.p

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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses? Because they often have to interact with violent and distrustful criminals.

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A man claims to own a talking dog. A skeptic approaches the man and his dog and asks for a demonstration. The man asks his dog, "How does sandpaper feel?" The dog says, "Ruff!" The skeptic is not convinced. The man then asks his dog, "Who is the greatest baseball player of all time?" The dog, who like all dogs cannot fully comprehend human speech, proceeds to lick his balls.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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