These are some questions you should never ask on a first date: When you wipe do you throw your toilet tissue in the toilet or on a trash can? Do you smell your hands after you wipe? Do you you ever look down when you take a dump and see it come out? Have you ever picked your butt and then picked your nose with the same finger?

What's purple and smells like crap? Crap. I lied about the purple

My friend who's a chef was stabbed by his own kitchen knife, everyone said it would be in bad taste to joke about it.

Tiny timmy likes timmy turner in his time of tingling on christmas.

How do you stop a baby from crying? You hit it with an axe.

Knock Knock Who's there? F F who? F you.

Why did the Romans conquer everyone? They were power-hungry.

Brooklyn Nets or New Jersey Nets? Theres a difference

Womens' sports

hit the thumbs down button

Somewhere in prison- Germany 1940 Janurary, Tuesday, 630PM: "Why doya' think you're so innocent" "It was only a jew!"

Two weeks ago, my brother walked into a flea market and asked if they sold fleas. He's so silly.

A man walks into a bar

A little boy and a pedafile are walking through the forest at night. The little boy says "I'm scared." The pedafile says "You're scared? I have to walk home alone."

Q: what the apple say to the orange? A: nothing because there fruits and fruits cant talk

Why did the chicken attempt to cross the road? To see if it could.

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what do mexicans like most. icecubes

How do you kill a blond? Put a scratch and sniff card at the bottom of a pool.

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then watch the world as they wonder how you did it

what did the cheese say to the other cheese nothing cheese can't talk

What do you call it when a woman doesn't want the child she is currently impregnated with? Abortion: a very sensitive and controversial topic.

In Soviet Russia, it is the largest country in the world. A lot of the parts are uninhabitable though.

What do you get when you mix a dog with a pool table? I don't know.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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