When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then watch the world as they wonder how you did it

what did the cheese say to the other cheese nothing cheese can't talk

Why did the chicken attempt to cross the road? To see if it could.

what do mexicans like most. icecubes

Q: what the apple say to the orange? A: nothing because there fruits and fruits cant talk

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Two weeks ago, my brother walked into a flea market and asked if they sold fleas. He's so silly.

Oh wow, I've never seen one that big before. Thats what the 12 year old boy said as he starred at the the Great Pyramid of Pharaoh Khufu.

A man walks into a bar

Why did the homeless man get a house key cut? He didn't he's homeless.

What's worse than a car going backwards on the highway? A steamroller going backwards on the highway.

What did the midget say to the leprechaun? Nothing.....midgets don't usually converse with leprechauns....and leprechauns aren't real.

What did the house do when it came alive? It went home

What did the 5 cent store clerk say to the customer? That will be 5 cents.

Why does Waldo wear stripes? Because Martin Handford drew him that way to make him unique and distinguishablefrom the hundreds of other drawn people (and animals) in the pages of the children's game book, which incidentally is known as Where's Wally in numerous non-USA countries.

My mom is such a bitch that no one will date her!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!TRUE STORY!! :D

A baby seal walks into a club.

there is a black guy riding a bicycle. he is extremely skilled on it and says he has never fallen off.

Gotta go Fast Gotta go Faster Faster Fasterfasterfaster! Moving at the speed of sound I'm the quickest hedgehog around Got ourselves a situation Start getting a new location Without any explanation On top of relaxation! Go- Go- Go- Don't blink Don't think Just Go go go go G-g-g-g-go go! Sonic, he's on the run Sonic, he's number one Sonic, he's coming next so watch out for Sonic X! Gotta go fast, gotta go faster faster faster fasterfasterfaster Go go go go go go go go go! Sooooniiiiic X!!

Why do women wear perfume and makeup? Because they smell bad and are ugly.

What did little Jimmy say when he saw a group of dancing blue penguins dressed as cannibal clowns with saucers on their head ? "What the f*ck"

What did the blonde do when her car broke down? Made a Facebook status about then called animal control.

Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. He calls the right number.

What do you call a man with no arms or legs? Whatever his parents named him

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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