Why couldn't the boy sing? The boy could sing, but the thick layer of duct tape prevented him from doing so.

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A neutron goes into a bar and asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?" The bartender, millions of times larger than the infinitesimally small subatomic particle, does not hear his question and so does not reply.

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Why are elephants gray? So you don't get them confused with blueberries.

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A pig and an elephant walk into a bar. But the pig doesn't even make it into the bar because the mentaly insane elephant ate him. Ouch

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when does lady gaga wake up? when she dreams about a bad romance

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Whats funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown costum

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What did the black kid get for his birthday?

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An airplane crashes into a state park. There are no survivors. Susan continues her stroll in the park, considering she is blind, deaf and in a wheelchair, she isn't aware of the nearby disturbance

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What kinds of children go to heaven dead ones

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What’s black and white and red all over? A zebra in a meat grinder

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Roses are red Violets are blue your mum went to the loo and out came you

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Daniel Textor can suck a gooch he's such a F - A - GGGGG!! Let's beat him up at lunch.

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Q.If you are European in the bathroom, what are you in the kitchen? A. A woman.

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You know what they say about big feet... Wow, those are some big feet.

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What's spotted and has dildos strapped to their neck? Jews

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What's worse than 12 dead babies in one trash can? 1 dead baby in 12 trash cans.

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The king has three daughters. One day, one of the daughters comes into his room and asks, "Father, why is my name Rose?" King replies,"well, a rose petal fell on your head when you were a baby." The next day, the second daughter comes into his room and asks,"Father, why is my name Tulip?" the king replies,"A tulip fell on your head when you were a bay." On the next day, the final daughter comes in and says, "BLAJSFUAGHASRAKKKKKK." The king says,"Shut up, Cinderblock."

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What did the firefighter say to his crew when they put out the fire? -Let's go home

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Your mom is so fat, she is having angioplasty. She might need a ride a home.

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THIS IS an anti-joke.

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What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing, oceans and beaches are both not alive, thus incapable of speech and feeling emotions

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Why doesn't the South Pole war veteran remember the name of his child? He is a penguin and could care less about naming his children. Why doesn't the penguin on the North Pole remember the name of his child? There are no penguins on the North Pole.

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how many babies does it take to screw in a light bulb? there are no babies they are all dead in my garage

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When life gives you lemons, chuck them at the creepy man across the block.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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