Why did the dog eat poop?

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How do you get a blond to fall over? Shoot her with a shotgun.

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Whats worse than a little kid falling. Him getting vigorously raped by his father every night.

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So in Jimmy's school if u are misbehaving u are asked to get out of the room. Jimmy was in science, and he was throwing paper a bunch. Then his science teacher says, "Jimmy, do u wanna go out?" Jimmy replies "No thanks, I'm 14 and i have a girlfriend." That's how Jimmy got detention.

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What did the kid with no arms get for christmas? No one knows he hasn't been able to open his presents yet.

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How many average men does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

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What's red and eats tulips? Your face!

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What's neon green and has 69 legs? Nothing that I know of, but it would be an interesting creature

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Knock knock. who's there? Alex. GO AWAY!!!

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What did the the boy get from his grandma for Christmas. Nothing. she died a week ago.

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why did the chicken cross the road??? I don't know, that's why I asked you -_-

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

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knock knock , who there ray, ray who , ray winstone , I am your daddy you'll get your perks.

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Why was the bear rushing home after work? Because he was late for dinner.

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Q: What did one car say to another? A: Nothing. Cars can't speak.

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a man walks into a bar he is promtly escorted out due to the fact that he wanted to kill the bars owner. The man got life in prison with no chance of parole. This mans name was Michael Myers.

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When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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How do you get a women stop running a marathon? You tell her that you have AIDS and she should get herself checked.

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What did the tuna say to the fan I LIKE YOUR STOOL AHAHHAHAHHAHAH

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What a gay guy get on his IQ test? 69

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why is a squirrel called a squirrel? that's its name.

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give one word to discribe a man who has been in combat for 10 years and finnaly gets home to his family and he chokes and dies on piece of brockly. Irony

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What do you call an Irish man with no legs? Handicapped

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roses are red violets are blue i am retarded i like pancakes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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