Why did the black man buy watermlons? Because a new local super market just opened and they were on sale.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What'd the Jew get for Christmas? Nothing. He's Jewish, remember?

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it can do whatever the hell it wants

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What did T Pain say to the skipper of his yacht? I'm on a yacht

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why is the guy fat? Because he eats too much.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Roses are red, violets are blue. I have a gun, get in the van

thumb_up thumb_down +27

"Want to hear a joke? Tough."

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What is black, white and red all over? A black, white and red pen.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

I didn't choose the thug life... I got a job.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What's worse than seeing your goldfish die? Watching your grandfather have a stroke.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Q: Why did the Mexican jump over the fence? A: He went to go retrieve the ball that was kicked in his neighbor's yard. Afterwords, he continued playing soccer with his friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

How did the fat woman survive the car accident? She had on her seat belt.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why couldn't little Jessica open the door? It was locked

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What's green has eight legs, and would kill you of it fell on you from the top of a tree? A Billiard table

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the cat eat the cupcake? Cause he was hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline. Notice how Anti-Joke MISSPELLED "user", writing "uses" instead. Probably most of you didn't notice until I posted this :)

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A neutron goes into a bar and asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?" The bartender, millions of times larger than the infinitesimally small subatomic particle, does not hear his question and so does not reply.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why couldn't the boy sing? The boy could sing, but the thick layer of duct tape prevented him from doing so.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why are elephants gray? So you don't get them confused with blueberries.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

.ellipsis { text-overflow: ellipsis; /* Required for text-overflow to do anything */ white-space: nowrap; overflow: hidden; }

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A pig and an elephant walk into a bar. But the pig doesn't even make it into the bar because the mentaly insane elephant ate him. Ouch

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What did the black kid get for his birthday?

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops