How do you get a blonde to break a nail? Smash her finger with a wrench.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey Everything is grey I am a dog

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How do you stop a baby from crying? Throw it off the top of the Empire State Building.

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How do you make a model ugly? you shoot her in the face.

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Once upon a cross

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Why can't Helen Keller hear? She's dead

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why did the onion fall out of the bag? ...there was a hole in the bag so the onion fell out

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Whats the differance between a lawnmower and a sack of dead babies? I dont have a lawnmower in my garage

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Your mother was a hamster, And your father smelt of ElderBerries!

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Fun fact: If you took the skin of an average person and laid it flat you would have enough to get a pretty serious criminal conviction, amirite?

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colby doesnt shave

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she is blind and is a women, who are notoriously bad drivers.

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A dog walks into a saloon and says "I'm lookin' for the man who shot my paw." The patrons are afraid of the talking dog.

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What do you call a young child being beating to death with a spiked club? Arousing.

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Q: What's white, sticky, and is swallowed by most women? A: Ice Cream

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Did you hear about the Blonde who fell off a cliff You Have? Oh Ok, Have a nice day

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What do you call a man with a cigar in his mouth. A person with bad health and dirty teeth.

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what did the man with no arms and no legs get for christmas? a new hat

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69

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Why wasn't the clown funny? He didn't have a face

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Why did Susy fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Susy.

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What did the thin Italian say to the fat Italian? I don't know, I can't speak Italian.

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I share two rooms with my mother.

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What's spongy and smells of treacle? Treacle sponge

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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