I dumped this chick who was cross eyed. I thought she was seeing other people.

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Why did Janelle fail her math test? Because she didn't study.

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John - hey do you have tickets to see Oasis? Sam - No I bought green day tickets intead. John rolls his eyes at sam very dissapointedly then proceeds to go home. The next day Sam phones John excitedly telling him he traded his Green day tickets for Oasis tickets, a smile appears on Johns and Sams faces, not that they can see each other, they both then put the phone down. An African died. Green Day are a bad band.

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''thanks for giving me back the money i lent you david''-said nobody

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what does a black guy and a chinease guy have is common? I don't know but it would be interesting to find out.

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Freeza: I am the strongest in the universe! (if you ignore my brother Coola which is much stronger and all...) Goku: You have pissed me off now Freeza, I will now turn into a super Asian and prove to the world that real Asians are actually blonde and blue eyed! (I am sure Goku means Sayans, which is "completely different") Goku: HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARG! Freeza: Omg, he... he... is trying to take a dump! IMPOSSIBLE! I will have to find his balls and caress them... Will Goku ever take a shit? Or reach all new levels of constipation during the series? Find out in the next episode of dragon ball z!

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What's black and very long? The line-up at KFC.

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How are friends like bananas? If you peel off their skin and eat them, they die.

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Nohypocondrism: When you feel fine and everyone keeps telling you you are a sick bastard. Charisma: Hey, that guy that changed my life killed the neighbor, cool rite? I mean that damn neighbor did say nothing to me when I said hi. Solitude: When the room is so overcrowded that you feel small and alone. I think that people that are jack of all trades and master of none are stupid... I AM JACK OF NO TRADES AND MASTER OF ALL! I am nothing, because nothing lives on forever, nothing is unbreakable, nothing is really awesome on a terrible day... I am also Nobody, because Nobody has more money than me.. FUUUUUUUU..

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What happens when you yell at people who have high blood pressure? They might get heart attacks & die.

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yo mama's so fat her stomach mass weighs more than people who dont have as much fat as her.

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Black people are ugly. They should not live in this world. They are apes. They should live as apes not humans. Why do they have ugly curly hair, fat lips, and a big flat nose? SO UGLY!! EWW

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What do you call a black man eating fried chicken? By his name, which could be John, considering the popularity of said name.

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Why do women get pregnant? Beacuse it hurts and they deserve it.

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What did the man say when he found out he had cancer? Nothing. He was so in shock, that he later died from another type of cancer.

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There was a big guy he was called Mac. So Mc Donalds turned him into a burger

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Q: WHY DID GOD MAKE ASIANS? A: NO FREIKEN IDEA

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, your Heart maybe splited into two but, if you love me i would fix it for you

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How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree? Get a ladder and help her down.

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i have yougurt with tractor

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A scientist walks into a bar. His forehead becomes swollen.

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If Africa had more mosquito nets, millions, MILLIONS of mosquitoes would die for hunger.

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what does the sloth say to dylan sedgwick nothing dylan is the sloth

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i did your mom......a favor. by making you......... a sandwhich. i rubbed her pussy.........cat. she saw my dick.........tionary. I slapped her ass...........what i did.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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