Q: Do you know what you can make when you have enough cents? A: Dollars

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Doctor, doctor, i feel like a pair of curtains. Well I'm going to refer you to a mental institute and forward this meeting to a specialist due to the schizophrenic attitude and belief you have. However, I will have to ask you to come back in tomorrow or later today for further tests as to why you feel this way. This is highly abnormal and should be fixed immediately. Another further concerns please contact me asap.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because he was content where he was.

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What did the elf say to Santa I'm not making any more toys fat ass.

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2 people lived next door to each other. The man said "hi" and so did the other man. What is wrong with this situation. Nothing, just friendly neighbors.

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A man walks into a bar, and the bartender asks "What'll you have?" The man replies "Surprise me." The bartender proceeds to mix cyanide with the mans drink and loses his bartending license and goes to prison for murdering a customer.

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What really killed the dinosaurs? ME!!!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? AIDs.

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How dis the chicken cross the road? On it's chicken wings.

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Q:how do you fit 100 jews in a car? A:2 in the front 3 in the back and the other 95 in the ashtray

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What is green and red and is going super fast? A frog in a blender.

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what did the astronomer say when he lost his telescope? where is my telescope?

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Why did the blond cross the road? The police officer who arrested her for shoplifting parked his car on the other side of the street.

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What do you do to a brain dead man to get his money? Pull the plug.

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why is the sky blue? because your mother blocked your computer to meatspin.com

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If an ice cream van goes out of business, who drove the Jeep into the furniture store? To get to the other side.

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Q: Whats the difference between water melon and a baby? A: Watermelon is a fruit.

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Timmy had to use the restroom in class one day, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I use the restroom?" The teacher said, "I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said'," When I was using 'can', I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier for asking for permission, as opposed to expressing ability. I though since you were a teacher you would know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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Your momma is so fat, her doctor recommended exercising more and eating healthier.

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why do jews like weed? A) because they are used to being baked.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Relizing its a used tampon covered with blood.

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A priest and a rabbi walks into a bar. The bartender looks at them and says "is this some kind of joke?".

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In a joke book: So a man walks into a bar. Suddenlly the universe around the author crack. Unable to sustain the infinite potential of punchlines, the author tumbles through an empty void amongst shards of his broken reality.

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What was the last thing that went through the crashing helicopter pilot's head? The propeller.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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