why does david stutter during meetings. because he smiles till his cheeks hurt

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What is Blue, Pink, and Green, and sometimes sparkles when wet? Grass. I lied about the Blue and Pink to throw you off...because I can.

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How do you make a lawyer cry? You can't. The production of tears requires a soul, which, regretfully, no lawyer possesses.

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Why did the dinosaur cross the road? Because chickens hadn't evolved yet.

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There is a bunch of penguins and they fall of a cliff

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An African American walks into a bar. The bar tender is a racist, so he asks the African American gentleman to leave.

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did you see stevie wonder's new guitar no neither did he

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What's faster than a Nascar Racecar? My thoughts. -Juanita

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A black guy, a Mexican, an Arab and a white guy walk into a room and embrace cultural diversity.

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Me: Knock Knock Mom: Who's there? Me: Jason Mom: Jason who Jason: HOW COULD YOU FORGET ME I CAN'T BELRIVE YOUR ALZHEIMER'S HAS GOTTEN THAT BAD! WHY DOES THIS HAPPEN TO ME BWAAA! *Jason sadly died short after from a bus hitting him*

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being raped by a giant scorpion.

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What did the blind man say to his wife? -would you mind helping me upstairs, for I cannot see.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was Dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because grass don't eat meat.

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What's worse then falling off a buliding? Falling of a higher building.

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SUCK MY 29 AND A HALF FOOT LONG DICK BITCH JUST KIDDING............ IT IS 69 FEET LONG GIGADY

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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? One, its not a difficult task.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? (Because she was blind and deaf?) No, because she was a woman.

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What do you call a girl with no arms and legs? Whatever her name is.

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In the middle of english class, Little Timmy raised his hand and asked "Can I use the restroom" The english teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?

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ok last night i found a pic of romney saying "if i win the election 8 million people will have no job" then Obama says hey romney now that i won the election it would be 8 million and one stupid.

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How did Alice get revenge on Diane when Diane called her fat? When Alice was pregnant, she stabbed herself in the stomach and blamed it on Diane. Diane was then sent to prison for murder and received a sentence of 25 years. Alice laughed in court, and Diane was forced to commit suicide. Alice then stole Diane's husband, and she lived happily ever after.

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Why was the black man fired from his job? Because the company was beginning to lose sales which then resulted in job cuts.

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What does a ghost get when he watches porn? A boner

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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