Why did the girl break her leg? Because I pushed down the staircase.

thumb_up thumb_down

this isn't meant to be a joke, but just letting all of you know, inside jokes don't count and kony jokes aren't funny

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the women get after valentines day? An abortion.

thumb_up thumb_down

Knock knock. "Whose there?" "Dave" Oh alright Dave, two seconds I have got to unlock the door~looks for and finds keys and unlocks door~ Hello Dave, sorry mate not been out yet so not been out, come in.........

thumb_up thumb_down

how do you get a dog to stop barking? you hit it with a stick.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the kangaroo fall over? Because it fell over the dead koala

thumb_up thumb_down

Why couldn't the turtle swim? Because he went too close to an oil spill, the petroleum got into his mouth and coated his lungs and he is now dead.

thumb_up thumb_down

How do you stop R Kelly from peeing on little girls? Kill all little girls.

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you get when you mix a Refrigerator with a dog? Nothing. That would be impossible.

thumb_up thumb_down

What do Selena and Justin, Kate and William, and Barack and Michelle all have in common? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down

Did u think that last joke was funny? Well this one isnt

thumb_up thumb_down

A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

thumb_up thumb_down

Yo momma so old that she has started to look into an affordable life insurance plan to ensure all her final expenses are taken care of.

thumb_up thumb_down

What happened to the black man when he was hit by a truck? He died.

thumb_up thumb_down

How do you make a lumberjack cry? Kill his family

thumb_up thumb_down

What's Pi times the square root of a panda's earlobe? Panda's do not have earlobes... thus the answer is inexplicable.

thumb_up thumb_down

Jack be nimble. Jack be quick. But Jack still couldn't out run that bullet.

thumb_up thumb_down

what did batman say to robin before they got in the car get in the car

thumb_up thumb_down

yo mamas so young shes gonna b born soon

thumb_up thumb_down

why did the T-Rex eat the other dinosaur? Because it is a carnivorous animal.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Tim and Jim are Telling Jokes Tim: Knock Knock ... Jim does not respond because Tim has a mental disorder causing him to believe in hypothetical doors and thus ignores him so that he does not upset his friend

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Roses are gray Violets are black Don't judge me I'm color blind>.>

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Start by getting your fucking ass off this site and get me the fucking money asap yourself! And your contact information! Fuck your "eye for an eye" piece of shit example, I want redemption! If I am to live with self respect after losing a FUCKING EYEBALL! I demand that you lose EVERYTHING YOU HOLD DEAR! YOU FUCKING QUEER HYPOCRITE! And I am not asking that you take away everything, I will take everything you hold dear away from you myself! Then again, why do that when I can get straight to the source and break your spine, and that is just the first step to making you wish you where dead! That you end up begging me for THE SWEET MERCY OF DEATH! Listen, if you want to talk, lets talk, if you claim to be so fucking powerful get on a goddamn jet and get over here yourself, no goons, no "shadows", no "followers" of "your order" when you present it, and "our order" when YOU FUCK UP! Only then will I "listen to reason", it is only reasonable you come out of your fucking hiding place and face me! I wont fight you, I wont kill you, but you better get your fucking face over here yourself.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops