Why couldn't the man ever reach his dream of becoming a professional athlete? He was pronounced with Alzheimer at a young age and could never remember his dream the next day.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? A blind deer.

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Q: Why was the boy sad? A: An Elephant was sitting on his face

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I wondered why the piano was getting bigger. Then it hit me... I'm sorry I have visual agnosia

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A Priest and a Rabbi walk into a bar together. They discuss the fundamentals and aspects of Religion.

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What do you call a guy sleeping with little boys? Michael Jackson

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What did the black guy say when after he jumped in the pool? Wow, its kinda chilly.

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A man walks into a bar not a duck though

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What did the clock say to the book? I have no batteries.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Beat her with a spatula while in a mankini with a dildo up your ass!

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What's red and shiny? Not the holocaust

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how do you make a quiet person talk? you water-board them

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room, he then relieves a nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with more information. Your wife died during the delivery.

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Finally, lets take the fight two the streets shall we, no I am not asking, asking is for pussies: YOU VIOLATED AND KILLED MY FATHER! YES YES WHAT IS IT WITH YOU WOMEN ANYWAYS I VIOLATED YOUR MOTHER TOO, BUT YOU DON`T HEAR HER WHINING ABOUT IT! In fact tell her to stop her sending me nude shots, I prefer it when she sends me those she takes of you in your sleep... Your friendly Neighborhood R*pist Moral Man:The day Moral Man graced your village was the worst day of your life, for me it was fathers day! Literally, do you really think I killed your father? I would never comitt suicide! Now, let us celebrate our reunion with some... "Moral WINcest" Barlog: Yes we would like to see the tapes you made for me banging her mother. two Super Turbo edition hours later: YEEEEEEEEEEES! YEEEEEEEEEEEES!

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Okay so there was a turtle, a pig, and a donkey. They were out fishing when suddenly they spot a man in boat. The man said he hasn't eaten in 5 days and he is very hungry. He looked at the turtle and said "no, too much shell." The turtle was happy and left. He looked at the pig and said "no, too much fat." The pig ran away and was very happy. He looked at the donkey and said "I think I'll have donkey today." The donkey ran away because he was scared. The man died from hunger.

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Got in a Taxi and the driver said "You'll never guess who i had in the back of my cab the other day". I said "It's probably pointless me trying to guess then ".

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What's cold, tired, wet, and starving? A girl up at 4:00 am that just came out of a cold shower.

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What did the clown say when he was denied health insurance? Nothing, he died of his pre-existing heart condition.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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How do you stop a baby from crying? Slit its throat

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Walt dies in breaking bad.

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There was once a really smart Hufflepuff.

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Friend: Dude are you going to see the hunger games? Me: But i alreay seen it Friend: Dafuq? its not even out yet. Me: African children invented the hunger games. Friend: -.-

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How do you confuse a blonde? put her in a circular room and tell her to stand in the corner

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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