Roses are brown. Violets are brown. Who pooped in my garden?

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why couldn't the blind man hear? because he was also deaf.

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two kids find a condom so they decide to show their mum the mum snatched it off them saying never to touch one of them again the kids went to their room "Mum sounded pretty angry about that thing "Lucky we didnt tell her about the yohgurt we drank out of it

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whats the differnece between a bag of dead babies and a ferarri? nothing ill never have either

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Why couldn't little Susie ride her bicycle? She had Cerebral Palsy.

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Twelve people are in a plane. One of them says: "Man, we really are not so many in this plane" Another one replies: "It's because it's a 12 seats plane." Another says: "Do 12 seats planes even exist?" Another one answers: "Of course they do." Another person says: "Guys, are we even flying?" Someone says: "I don't know" Another says: "Yes, we're flying, look out the window." Another says: "I have cancer." Someone reacts: "Oh, I'm really sorry for you" Another: "Yes, me too" Someone adds: "It's really terrible" Another says: "Has science made any progress recently?" The plane crashes.

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Why did Suzy drop her ball? Because roughly 5 years ago she was part of a car crash violently tearing off both of her arms. Knock knock. Who's there. NOT SUZY!

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Why do migets laught when they run? Because the grass tickles their balls.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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The duck walked up to the lemonade stand and he said to the man who was running the stand, hey I cancer CC

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What's funny about anti-humor? Nothing.

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whats the strongest muscle the man who can't talk has. definatly not his mouth

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a grasshopper walks into a bar the bartender says hey we have a drink named after you the grasshopper says what dave?

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What did the deaf man say to the blind man? Probably "Look out for that car," but since he has been deaf since the age of 7, his verbal skills are tenuous at best.

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Why wasn't cacto at school that day. Because Silas gave him extreme butthole aids.

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A man walks into a house, and the next day was taken to the hospital for a minor concussion and a possible vision deficiency.

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Congratulations, sir. The judge has determined that the charges of traffic violation against you were indeed incorrect, and you will be given a large sum of cash for your wasted time.

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Why did the little girl cry? She lives in Haiti.

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A guy walks into a bar

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AIDS is not a lifestyle it's a choice - and you chose wrong.

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What's orange and sounds like a parrot? An orange parrot.

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What did the blonde say when she saw a tan button on her calculator? That must mean tangent.

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What looks like a rainbow but isn't seen in the sky? A drawing of a rainbow

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Why was little georgia afraid of the tea cup ? Because she was tripping over the holocaust.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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