An Irishman, Englishman and Scotsman come across a magic slide. They each decide to take a turn. The Irishman goes first, sliding down and shouting "GOLD!", and finding himself in a pile of gold as he reaches the bottom. The Englishman slides down screaming "SILVER!", and lands in a heap of silver at the bottom. The Scotsman takes his turn, and shouts "WEEEE!" as he slides down. He gets up and realises what a needless waste of a wish his enjoyment cost him.

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Albino African Americans

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What is red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Why did Bruno Mars explode? He caught a grenade for ya.

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A priest, a Muslim and a Rabbi sit next to each other on a plane they say nothing to each other during the flight and reach their destinations safely.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Smell mop. Smell mop who. *giggle*

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Barack Obama

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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him? Because that would be assault, and not only assault but aggravated assault, since you are using a weapon to do it. Plus, the lawyer would have an advantage over you in court during the trial, due to having a law degree.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? It depends on their painting skills.

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How many members of Coldplay can you fit in a mini? 4, as there are 4 members of Coldplay.

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What's blue, orange, and silver all over? Nothing. That's a ridiculous combination of colors.

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What's fatter than your mum? Your mum's mum

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What would Micheal Jackson do if he were alive today? THRILLER! THRILLER! THRILLERS NIGHT!

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Whats brown and smells like shit? Shit.

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Why can't jokes spit?

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Q. I look in a mirror. What do I see? A.My reflection

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What happened when the president cut the hedge That is a highly improbable solution because he would probably have a body guard do it.

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Remember IRON MAN 3! Subscribe to www.prettypleasehelpmeforgethatpieceofshitmovie.com

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roses are red, violets are blue... thats what they tell me because im blind

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Why was the black man picking cotton? Because he was in an area where slavery is a socially and morally accepted practice.

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What do you get when you cross the ocean with a dinosaur? Wet.

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Roses are black Violets are Black I'm Hellen Keller

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Y' can't spell rape without ape.

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why did Dayrl win the wheelchair race? Because he had working legs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops