Obama walks into a hospital....

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What do you get if you cross a motorway with a lawnmower? Killed.

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People spending hours typing nothing but cus words? Who does that?

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" After hearing this common expression, the horse looks up at the bartender. With this look, the bartender realizes that he has been speaking to I'll Have Another. Aware his faux pas, the bartender apologizes and pours him a free drink. The free drink does little for I'll Have Another's crushed dreams.

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why did dominic buy a new speaker on holiday because his parents died and his was at home

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Why did Jonathan choose to watch something else other than Geordie Shore? Jonathan is intellectual.

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What did Cinderella wear at the ball? Clothes

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What kind of shots does John take at night? Insulin, because he's a diabetic.

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Roes are red, Violets are blue, This poem doesn't rhyme, You're entire family has died. The plane that they were on went down due to a flock of geese getting sucked into the engine. They were visiting you for your twenty fifth birthday and wanted to surprise you. there were no survivors.

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What's red and green And moves at 300mph A frog in a blender

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue Wait Arent Violets purple?

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A man with no face walks into a bar, another man sees this and promptly asks "Sir, why do you have no face?" The first man says nothing and walks away.

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A piece of paper got wet. I stuck it over the fireplace to dry off, but it lit on fire.

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What is the difference between a pizza and a Jew?

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What do you call a Fly with no wings? Dead.

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What did the boy say to the girl? I like you hi.

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Why did Todd have intimacy problems? He was molested as a child.

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how many babies does it take to paint a wall? it depends on how hard you throw them

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what did i get my mom for her birthday? Nothing im selfish

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wsde

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why did the hater hate? everyone else has a much better life

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Q: Why are black people so tall? A: Not all black people are tall, and if they are it is probably from their specific genes.

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why are there so many peadofiles in the world? sexy kids.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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