Three men walk into a bar. One of them is not planning to consume alcohol because they are responsible and he is the designated driver.

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Why was 7 afraid of 8? Because 8 knifed 10.

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Someone dies every second. That's 60 a minute. 3600 a hour. 86,400 a day. 604,800 a week. 31,536,000 a year. But thankfully- I don't live in Zimbabwe.

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Why did the bald man die? Cancer.

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Your mom is so stupid that she failed out of high school and now has two jobs to support her family.

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A blonde woman, a brunette woman and a redhaired woman walk into a bar. They can be considered fiscally responsible because it was two for one Ladie's Night.

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Why was Justin Beiber Booed off the stage. Because I spelt his last name incorrectly.

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Why the babie was not drinking his milk? He was dead.

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender says "I wont serve you." The black man says, "Why? Is it because of the color of my skin?" The bartender says, "No, its because your wearing a suit and on the front door it says no people in suits are allowed." So the black man took off his suit and was kindly served.

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your mom is so stupid that she is suffering from down's syndrome, and has a shorter life expectancy than normal people.

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Q: When did the man realize it was 5:00am? A: When it became 5:00am.

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whats the difrence between a japaneese and chineese person? one is from japan and one is from china.

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Q: You know what's really funny? A: A good joke.

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Yo Mama just died.

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why was the baby crying? cause his abusive father broke his arm.

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A young man walks into a bar. A complicated chain of events leads to him marrying the owner's second cousin's half-niece-in-law.

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did you hear about the mexican that went to college? yes

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I had some crack, my unicorn says hi.

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A blonde girl walks into a hairdressers and asks for a slight trim. She leaves the hairdressers fairly happy with the result although she was unhappy with the price which she later concluded was most likely because of the rising inflation. However overall she felt it had been a successful outing.

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What was the baker a coward? He didn't have the "Bunz" to prove it!

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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A horse walks into a bar. Bartender says "It's probably not a good idea that your in here, any sudden movements and you could seriously injure somebody. Our beer glasses aren't ergonomically designed for your kind of species. I'm going to have to ask you to leave"

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What did the Asian say after he had a nightmare? Nothing his nightmare was actually reality and a dishwasher fell on him and killed him.

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Who more attractive then you? No one your ugly as pooh.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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