The teacher asked her class "What is 42 + 17?" Several hands were flung into the air. "71!" said Billy excitedly. "No, I'm sorry that is incorrect." said the teacher. "67!" shouted Carl at the top of his lungs. "Incorrect!" said the teacher. Then little Johnny raised his hand. "The answer is 69" he said full of intellectual delight. "Very good." said the teacher.

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why didn't the baby cry once it came out of the womb? because it was a stillborn.

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I'm a wise old man, so I'm aloud to touch you in the bathing suit area.

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What do you call a Mexican that is jumping off a building? A suicidal jumper!

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knock know. who there?.............. whose there?.........whose there!?!?! damn kids

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Why did rachels computer break ? Because she was using it in the road and got hit by a bus

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A man watched his city burn. He was traumatized by the loss of his friends and family and went to therapy to recover.

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Whats worse than getting hit in the face with an axe? Getting hit in the face with two axes.

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Why didn't the TV turn on? Nobody switched it on.

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How did Ronald McDonald die He was hit by a big mac

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Yo mama so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death

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A blonde walks into a bar. She enjoys a refreshing, cold beverage with friends before returning home to sleep ahead of another day of hard work as a scientist.

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How many policemen does it take to change a lightbulb? None they just beat up the room for being black

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WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

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Bill is driving along the Interstate.All the sudden, a refrigerator falls off the truck in front of him.The fridge slams into Bill's car.He dies instantly.

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What worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into an apple and finding 2 worms

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What did the doctor say to the seriously ill patient? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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p lkl

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Knock knock Who's there? Mike Mike who? Mike Davis from across the street. Come in.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? That depends on what his name is.

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What did one tampon say to another? Nothing they were both stuck up.

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What do gay horses eat? Horse dick.

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What did the cow say to the chicken crossing the road? Moo

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Fuzzy wuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy wuzzy had no hair. Fuzzy wuzzy had cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops