A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The family performs an array of disgusting sexual acts. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "It has no name."

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What's worse that tripping over on your way home from work? Finding your entire family murdered

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What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor.

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How many Mexicans eating a Taco in California does it take to fix a lightbulb? 1

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what did one tornado say to the other? im dizzy

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What sound does a baby in a blender make? I don't know, I was too busy masturbating.

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Why didn't the priest move in with the two rabbi? Because having three adults between the ages of 18 and 65 occupying the dwelling would have violated their insurance policy.

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? i lost my tractor

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Two turtles are in a bathtub. One turtle says to the other turtle "Hey, can you pass the soap". The other turtle says "what do you think I am, a toaster?"

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Where does a one-legged waitress work? Wherever she can get good health insurance.

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You know what's worse than having friends with a lake houses Not being invited to their lake house...

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How do you make a fake baby cry -Put batteries in it. How do you make a real baby cry? -Put batteries in it.

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Why did Humpty Dumpty fall off the wall? The wall was unstable and not to be sat on.

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whats a parkour kid? someone who jumps off things and is a pre-teen with adhd

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A bison trots into a bar. The bartender says, "My pee makes bubbles in the toilet." Amazed by the urination fact, the bison explodes.

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Why was the white man's girlfriend a whore? Because she engaged in sexual relations with a multitude of other men.

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Why can't Chuck Norris divide by zero? Because it is impossible, the answer is undefined.

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Only one, but he may forget to finish the task due to his Alzheimer's.

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why wasnt nathan invited the party? nathan's been dead for 5 years

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You- I came up with a new word! Friend- What is it? You- Plagiarism.

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Where did the little boy go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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what is the difference between a jew and a boy scout? a boy scout comes home from camp

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why? I was asking you...

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What's black and white and red all over? A penguin that just got shot

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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