Q. What do you call a dog thats deaf? A. A horribly abused domesticated animal that needs a kinder owner.

How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Eight, because there's one tickle per tentacle!

Q: what did the emo girl use to check her email? A: A computer.

Why didn't George Washington get his drivers license? Cars were yet to be invented.

A plane crashes in a polish cemetery the authorities have found 2000 bodies

There once was a mam from Peru He dreamed he was eating a shoe It wasn't... It was a goat

how do you make a plumer cry kill his family

What's green and can dance? A Cloud. I lied.

i hate when mothers said " clean your room" me " why " mom " because we have guest coming " me " oh i am sorry i didn't know we are all gathering in my f**king room

Why did Todd have intimacy problems? He was molested as a child.

Why did the white girl lose the race? The girl that she was beating was black and her boy shot her. Therefore the black girl won.

Your mothers so ugly that when memory sees her it says " Damn-it I hate my job!

A horse walks in to a bar. The bartender calls animal control.

what smells like a rose bud? a rose, bud.

a dyslexic man walks into a bra and realizes he is quite lucky as another man walks into a large steel pole

Why did the child say he had been a ubused. Answer: because he had been.

what did the gay man say to the pole? May i have this dance

What's worse then 10 dead babies in 1 tree? 1 dead baby in 10 trees...

why did sally fall off a swing she had no arms knock knock who's there not sally

Q: Why do circles make such good friends? A: They don't. They're shapes and there cannot have friends

Me: Mike Mike: Yeah Me: The more you breath the more pissed off im getting.

so a horse walks into a bar and the bartender syas why the long face and the horse says naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.

Heyy everyone text this number 320-510-3277 Kay ask him why he poops the bed at age 17 .. His name is mike geier.. Haha

Amanda Knox walks home free.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...