Q: what is blue and has no legs A: A crippled boy painted blue

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What did the dog say to the human? Nothing really. Dogs technically "speak" through barking.

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Why was New Zealand attacked by Australia? New Zealand attacked Australia due to a teritorial dispute. The war lasted for 3 years with over 150000 deaths.

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What do you call a kid with no friends? ....a Sandy Hook survivor

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What do you call postman pat without a job? Pat.

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How many skilled union workers does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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Why did the big refrigerator fall down the cheese Because i licked my own ear and it got scared and cheese for no raiSOnsD

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A praying mantis is very graceful

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Q: What do you call a vacuum that doesn't suck stuff up? A: A broken vacuum.

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why couldnt hellen keller drive a car? because she was a woman

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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When someone calls me ugly, I run up and hug them, because I know how tough life is for the visually impaired.

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The teacher asked: If you have two apples, and I give you two, how many do you have now? FOUR said the student.

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how many blondies were at the mall? none they were too busy trying to find the sun.

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Where did little susie go during the explosion? Everywhere :) What color were her eyes? Blue. One blew this way and one blew the other way. :p Knock, knock Who's there? Not susie :)

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby dressed as a clown.

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So a horse walks into a bar, oh wait Sarah Jessica Parker

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What does the Priest say to the little boy? Size doesnt matter

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Cement is grey, Shoes are myriad colors, but usually white, black, or brown, depending on their use, And I love you.

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What did the duck say to the other duck? Something, But us humans don't speak there language to understand

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"Why can't you hear pterodactyl when it goes to the bathroom?" "Because the pee is silent?" "No, because they are dead, you idiot."

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Roses are red and i like Pie but seriously, i don't care if you die

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Why doesn't God like fruitcake? Because God doesn't exist.

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Why did they name the team mavericks and why Was the maskot a horse? Because 50 years ago they found a blue horse And its name was maverick

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops