A blonde girl walks into a hairdressers and asks for a slight trim. She leaves the hairdressers fairly happy with the result although she was unhappy with the price which she later concluded was most likely because of the rising inflation. However overall she felt it had been a successful outing.

What did Lois say to Peter? Who cares... Family Guy is a stupid show.

Who won the race through the underpass, the black man or the polish man? The black man as he crossed the finish line several seconds earlier.

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. Erm Wait why would a chicken be on the side walk in the first place?

i think dylan is turnimg gay for amy

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? That boy that dropped a perfectly good ice cream cone from a road accident involving a bus due to lack of road safety awareness Oh yeah, and I guess the fact that he probably died or was injured for life is pretty bad too

Jerry Rice is walking down the streets of San Francisco when all of a sudden he hears sirens coming from the next street down. He hurries down the road to see what's happening and sees a huge fire engulfing a 10 story building. And on the top floor, a lady is leaning out the window shouting to the firemen below. FIREMAN: Come on, lady, jump. We have the tarp here, we'll be able to catch you. LADY: No....I can't. My baby, my baby is up here. FIREMAN: Throw the baby down, we'll catch him. LADY: No, you'll miss. I can't leave my baby. Jerry sees this and steps forward. "Hey, I think I can help. Let me have the bullhorn." JERRY: Hey lady, I'm Jerry Rice, the wide receiver for the San Francisco 49er's. I'm the best wide receiver in the game, throw your baby down and I'll catch him, this is what I do for a living. Being a 49er fan herself, the lady recognizes Jerry and throws her baby down to him. Just as she throws it though, a huge gust of wind comes and takes the baby and starts to blow him off course. Jerry sees this and takes off after the baby. He hurdles the line closing off the area, fights through the crowd, dodges a couple of fire fighters, jumps over the car, and dives forward, just making a fingertip catch of the baby. The crowd around him goes wild and starts cheering his amazing catch. So Jerry jumps to his feet, raises his finger into the air, does a two step and then spikes the baby. If you have any dead baby jokes that are not here, I want to hear from you. Email me your dead baby jokes at skitzopathik@hotmail.com and I'll add them to this page.

What did the old man say when those damn kids stepped on his lawn? Nothing one of those kids killed him around three years back....

Why did John suck at sports? He was mentally retarded and had no friends.

Q: Did you know Hellen Kellers father was a skilled craftsman? A: Neiter did she.

Why to lawyers wear neckties? It's part of the uniform.

What's better than Sookie? The holocaust

Did you hear about the sea cow who sang "Part of your Herd?" It was the Little Moomaid.

A baby seal walks into a club.

Why did the cave men discover fire? They were the only humans on earth.

Humans and dolphins are the only species who have sex also for enjoyment.

yo mummas so FAT to get to the other side

What do you call 1 black guy and 9 other white guys? Patrick Mills

It's probably not a good idea that your in here, any sudden movements and you could seriously injure somebody. Our beer glasses aren't ergonomically designed for your kind of species. I'm going to have to ask you to leave

What is the cost of an abortion? 1 life

Why'd the dead man cross the road? He didn't, he was dead, therefore incapable of doing anything at all.

?"i'm so turned on right now." - horny light bulb

why did the boy fall of his bike He got shot in the face

What the small boy with no arms or legs get fro christmas???? cancer

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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