What do dogs and whales have in common? They both live in the ocean. Apart from the dog.

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What did the one midget say to the other midget? We r both small

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Why Johnny's parents threw out his broken bike? - ´Cause Johnny got ran over by a drunken driver yesterday, when he was cycling back home from school.

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Knock knock.

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why did CJ cry?he just ate a pie full of meat from his favorite animal.Pig

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How do you make an idiot in suspense?

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Dan walked into a jelly fish

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question: do zombies eat brains answer: actually zombies don't exist, so they don't eat anything

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A rabbi and a priest walk into a bar and order two beers

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A thief walks into a bank. He has an account there and withdraws 200 bucks.

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A kid walks into the car and the dad says, "Wear your seatbelt".

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Your mom is so fat her daily calorie intake is dangerously above the recommended 2000 per day.

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Mom I am so sorry I molested you yesterday. Im not your mom! Phew, wanna go out?

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

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What do you call a fish with no I's Animal cruelty

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An elephant and a hippopotamus were taking a bath. The elephant said to the hippo, " Please pass the soap." The hippo replied, "No soap, radio."

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A dog walks into a bar. He's a service animal, so this is allowed.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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Why did Santa's little helper feel depressed? Neurotransmitters essential for happiness, such as serotonin and norepinephrine, were in rather low supply in the poor elf's brain.

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What do you find at a black guys yard sale? A bunch of reasonably priced items since he comes from a low income household.

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Why did Suzie fall out of her swing? Because she had no arms.

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How do you make a clown happy then sad? You give him pot then shoot him in the foot

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What did Siri say to Cortana? Nothing. Someone has to say something in order to activate either one of the voice recognition devices.

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A man walks into a bar He goes to drink away the fact that alcoholism is tearing his family apart and that he lost custody of his three-year-old son that same day

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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