Roses are red, Violets are blue, My name's Dave, Microwave!

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A rabbi and a priest walk into a bar, they manage to have a delightful evening, despite their religious differences.

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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A man walks up to you and asks you:"What's funnier than a dead baby?" and then smiles, you then proceed to frown and tell him he needs to seek help. The next day you see his face on your TV

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For every person with a broken heart, there is another person out there with a stapler <3 And that person really needs to staple their math papers together so they can turn them in.

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When life hands you lemons, make lemonade. Well, life isn't a physical being so chances are low that it will actually hand you lemons.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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What is white but you can't see it? A bottle of milk around the corner.

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A man walks into a bar. I don't remember the rest, but your mother's a whore.

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Fight fire with with fire! That would be impossible, it'd just make the fire bigger. And probably kill you.

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How do you get Pikachu on a bus? Pokemon are fictional, therefore Pikachu is fictional, meaning he would never be at a bus station in the real world at all.

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How did the mom quiet her screaming baby? She threw it out the window.

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What's better than rape? Consensual sex.

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Why didn't Johns book get published? He had dyslexia.

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what did the crow say do the dead gazelle? - nothing the crow ate it

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Daughter: Dad I have some news for you Dad: What is it? Daughter: I am pregnant Dad: ... I am so happy I am going to have a grandson, my 27 year old daughter just married and now pregnant, this is a great day!

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am adopted And so are you

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. That's what she said

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What's yellow and can't swim? A bulldozer.

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Why did the dinosaur cross the road? It couldnt because a chicken was obscuring its path.

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why did bill gates sue his banks? Because he can

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Why was the boy so tired? He had to carry his moms dead body up the stairs.

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today in aa we were telling stories one of them was: that a girl put a wet cat (to dry it) in the oven

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Whats worse then getting caught watching porn? 9/11

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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