Why does the kid cries when he sees me? Cuz i took his lollypop last week.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? Don't matter what you call him he ain't gonna come.

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Knock, knock Who's there? The electrician And about bloody time too, you'd better come in.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Tim. Tim who? Tim Smith.

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What the difference between a black person and a piece of shit in a bucket? The bucket

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Knock knock Who's there? The police, your family is dead.

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why did the woman leave her husband? after years of mental and physical abuse she has decided to remove herself from the situation

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http://cache.deadspin.com/assets/resources/2008/04/Deer_mating2.jpg

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Once upon a time in a far away kingdom, people lived in it. The End.

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs, consdiering as disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion)

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Did you hear the one about the guy who couldn't tell any funny jokes? He went to Anti Joke and posted 1000's.

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Songs can be interpreted in many different ways you know: "Whenever, Wherever" - Prostitution "You raise me up" could be an advert for Viagra; And as for "love is in the air" - masturbating from a rooftop comes to mind. [L]

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What's red, white, and black, and spins around and around? A penguin in a blender

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My dad calls me a son of a bitch and I'm like "hey! You married her"

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How do you confuse a black man? Call him from a blocked number and I say "I love you"

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What has red dots and is yellow all over A poisonous frog

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Q. What did the dead man do after he died? A. Nothing. He's dead.

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Why was the nympho sweating in the park? Because they were having sex on the bench.

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what is the difference betweeb 69 and 77? 8

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whats got two legs and cant walk a paraplegic

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What's worse than one cat stuck in a tree? Getting raped

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Your tell your girlfriend to make you a sandwich, she actually makes one for you.

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If Irishmen didn't walk out of bars, they would collect and eventually fill the bars of the world and would die given the bars could not support them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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