A pair of brothers walked into a bar. It was where the wake was being held from their mother's funeral.

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Why did the man start vacuuming his neighbor's floor? He had to get the GSR

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That akward moment when you tell a person you like them and they don't respond.

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Three men walked into a bar. Despite the fact that the bar was not an oblong piece of solid material as many would assume, the men entered through the tavern door simultaneously and found it most uncomfortable and awkward to be squished up against each other for several moments.

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YOU MEAN SHE ACTUALLY EVER LIKED ME? WOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! Anyway, tell her to contact me here, during the number of letters up there divided by a certain number you got over there, minus the letters here subtracted with the VEEEEEEERY same ammoooouuuuunt... Moral: God I need to invent a code system that makes me sound less like Jim Carrey on crack...

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Taxes are like prostitutes. The higher your salary, the more you pay.

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Tom: Did you here about the blond who went to college? Mike: No. Tom: Well I heard she's leading a very successful life.

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Why did the kid throw a clock out the window? The kid was probably having a temper tantrum and it was an expression of frustration.

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Q: What did the dragon say to the other dragon A: Nothing they did'nt exicest.

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little potato when born allicator don't have neck, if u like me it's cause u stole my scooter

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What burns like hell? Gonorrhea.

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Dr. I need a new butt, mine has a crack in it.

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How do you get four gay guys to sit on one barstool? It's quite difficult, it would be easier to just get 3 more barstools.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who are we kidding, when have you ever seen a chicken crossing a road?

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Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passengers seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

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Why did little Jimmy go crying to his mummy? Because she was shot.

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What's funnier than cancer? Just about anything. There's nothing funny about terminal illnesses.

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How do you get a bird off the roof you throw an ax at it

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how do you get a black guy out of a tree? fried chicken.

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What's worse than losing the remote? Dying of cancer.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Nothing you insensitive ass!

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How can you get an asian kid to flunk a class? You can't.

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I am dyslexic

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What did the waiter say to an overweight customer? May I take your order?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops