how do you keep a monkey from stealing your banana? shoot it

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why was the kid sitting in a wooden chair? Because at the early age of four he was diagnosed with cancer and genital warts!

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An elephant walks in to a dry cleaners and asks the Chinese man behind the counter for the price of cleaning two shirts. The man replies, "$3.00."

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Thank you Jesus, for this wonderful meal we have tonight. De nada.

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Why didn't Clair get up all day? She died in her sleep.

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roses are red, violets are blue, apparently you are blind or else I wouldn't be telling this to you.

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A guy walks into a bar and says 'Ow!'

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Why did the goat cross the street? It was running away from the Tsunami

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why did the chicken cross the road he didnt he was hit by a van

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What happen when the man preposed to his girlfriend? He regretted for the rest or his life.

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Your mom is so stupoid she put a piece of paper on the TV and called it paper view!

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If you're jumping rope, and both the tires are flat, how much frosting would it take cover the staircase? Rocket!

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what starts with P and ends with u-b-e-s? Paul, can you brang me some priangles and the rest of my Rubik's cubes?

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What's black, white, and red all over? That could describe any number of objects.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Losing a family member in 9/11.

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When life gives you lemons you have lemons.

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What do you call it when a cigarette is brown instead of white? A cigarette that is or has been damp so that the nicotine was able to bleed into the paper and dye it.

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A man was driving and texting at the same time and when he was not looking a car passed him on the other side of the road. The man driving the car that passed the man was talking on the phone. When the man txting looked up and look back and said thank god thats not me talking i could of crashed if i was him

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so theres a plane, inside the plane are 500 solid bricks one falls out, how many are left? 499 What are the three steps to putting an elephant into a refrigirator? Open the fridge, put in the elephant, close the fridge. What are the four steps to putting a dear in the fridge? Open the fridge, take out the elephant, put in the deer and then shut the fridge. It's Simba's birthday, what animal isn't there? The deer. its still in the fridge. a lady is walking across a street, she suddenly falls to the ground why? Because the brick hit her in the face. (:

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a little violence in a relationship doesn't hurt anybody

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What did the cow say to the horse? Mooo

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What are the two sexiest farm animals? Consider that we are humans we shouldn't find any sex appeal in animals but if i had to guess I would say Brown Chicka Brown Cow

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What's the difference between a brick and Ricky? A brick gets laid and has a higher iq

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A woman sees a sign on a store that says "husbands for sale." Curious, she walks inside. The clerk says "These men will be perfect husbands, they'll cook and clean for you and see to your every need." Shocked, the woman calls the police and reports the store for human trafficking.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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