God is like semen. They're both nouns.

HOLY SHIT BITCH!!!

What does it mean if you have 5$ and Chuck Norris has 5$? Congrats! You both have five dollars!

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was standing next to you.

why did so many people die in the typhoon in the Philippines because they had to finish there math homework

What's the difference between a chair and an identical chair? Nothing.

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A drum set.

What do you call a Jew A Jew

what is worse than tripping over a tree root? getting mauled by a 60 foot bear

What did the kid in the wheelchair get for Christmas? AIDS.

What do you call a fat kid? I don't know...you tell me

No, you think faster smarter and harder than everyone I know, you change and adapt faster for each day, sometimes I just think one has to stop asking oneself what makes one happy, and simply choose to be happy.

Why did Johnny lose the race he got jawed by a pack of chimpanzees

So three hikers decide to face the deadly challenge of climbing Mount Everest. They were unaware of the risks, and were all brutally killed in an avalanche.

Why did the elephant cross the road? It escaped the zoo.

Knock Knock Who's there? Interrupting owl Interrupting owl- HOOOOOOOOOOOO

What do you call a black guy riding a unicycle? A black guy riding a unicycle.

Roses are red My parents are dead I am Batman.

A blond and his wife were in the hospital expecting their first child together. The wife gives birth to twins and the husband turns to her and says, "I can't believe we had twins. I'm so happy!"

Why'd the girl drop her lollipop? She got hit by a bus.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm gonna f*ck you with a rake.

Why did the blonde go to business school? She wanted to get into business, and decided that a business degree was a good place to begin.

"I am proud to be black and I wouldn't want to be any other race." - Not racist. "I am proud to be white and I wouldn't want to be any other race." - Racist and offensive to black people "I am proud to be asian and I wouldn't want to be any other race." - Not racist "I am proud to be Ethiopian and I wouldn't want to be any other race." - Said nobody, ever

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road A: It didn't do it for any good reason,chickens are mindless and do random things,like crossing the road

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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