What did the man with aids say? "I'm dying and there is nothing you can do about it"

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Q: Why couldn't the man get laid? A: Women were afraid of his 7 testes and 4 penises.

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Q: IMAGINE that your in a heart racing battle with a huge grizzly bear when suddenly a bird picks you up and carries you to china and leaves you on the adge of a cliff which then you are chased by warriors and are forced to jump off the edge. What do you do? A: Wake up

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What do you call it when you see a black man break his arm? There isn't really any name but I suggest he seeks medical attention.

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Doctor Doctor i've got wind can you give me something? Thats not wind the doctor replies thats a rare form of stomach cancer.

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Roses are Grey Violets are Grey I am a dog.

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What do you call something that lives in a pineapple under the sea? I don't know, but that seems like an improbable circumstance.

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There once was a plain Cheerio. He has a decent life with a low paying job and an apartment. One day, he decided to make his life more fun and started going to parties. He met some women and had a good time. He was happier and was soon promoted at work. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself, only to discover that he was now a Honey-nut Cheerio. He continued to go to parties and met a girl that eventually became his girlfriend. He became a manager at work and moved into an expensive condo. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself and was a Frosted Cheerio. He then quit his job and opened a club, where he became the most popular Cheerio in town. All guys wanted to be him, girls with him. At one party, his girlfriend asked him for some punch. He went to the kitchen but couldn't find any. There was no punch-line.

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Jim bean takes out a can of- Let me guess- No.

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don't make holocaust jokes, my grandfather died in the holocaust, he fell out of the birds nest shooting Jews.

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This is a haiku. Not a very good haiku, But still a haiku.

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What is Helen Keller's favorite color? Velcro

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What did George Washington say before he crossed the Delaware? "Get in the boat."

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Why did the bus driver lose his family in a car accident? Bc the little boy was seeking revenge

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How do you kill a zombie? You don't. Zombies aren't real.

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What do you call a building full of black people Jail

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Why did the boy have a rash? He didn't, it was a birthmark.

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Tony Soprano walks into a diner

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was struck by a car and killed instantly by the impact.

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Whats the difference between a Bicycle and a duck? They Both have handlebars, except for the duck.

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he was hit by a bus.

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Q:why is walmart so big? A:Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of Walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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A man is at a party. He gets hungry so he waits in the foodline and then he gets some food. Then he has to go to the bathroom so he waits in the bathroomline and goes to the bathroom. Then he is thirsty so he goes to get some punch and realizes that there is no punchline.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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