Why did 16-year-old girl scream in the basement? She was being raped.

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One dog says to the other dog "Nice day, isn't it?" The other dog says "You can talk!?"

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How did the blind dyslexic boy find his way out of the cornfield? -He drew backwords numbers and letters in the dirt

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Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet and so are you, but the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl empty and so is your head.

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How do you get someone to shut up? Shove a fork down their throat and hang them by thier thumbs

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whats white and pointless? chalk.

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Why can't Tommy ride a bike? Because Tommy is a goldfish.

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What do you call a guy with no arms, no legs, and floats? Nothing, its rude to make fun of disabilities.

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Why did Mary fall off the swing. She had no arms Knock knock Whis there Not Mary.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Gestapo.

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Why were The Beatles so popular? People across the world enjoyed their music.

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If I fly my canoe upstream and a wheel falls off, then how many lollipops does Obama have? None, because dogs can't use flashlights.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first monkey why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? monkey see monkey do why did the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure why did the refridgerator fall out of the tree? it lost its footing why did the girl fall down? she was hit by four monkeys and a refridgerator

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What's white, wet, and sticky? A tissue that I just blew my nose with.

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Why don't you see elephants find in trees? Because most trees can't hold an elephants weight.

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What goes in dry and comes out wet and sticky? Bubble Gum

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do,Nt loagh at me I has dislecqsia

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A boy is eating with his family. A man in the next booth tells him "You are very handsome and you will be a movie star when you grow up." Then the man leaves. On the way out, the boy's mom says "You know he was drunk, right?"

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What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre

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What is a Mexican's favorite holiday? Christman

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Why was the man scared? Because he was being attacked by a giant tiger.

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Who wants pizza crusts?

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What did the pilot say to the female flight attendant? He told her to never tell his wife about the time they spent in mexico or he'd bludgeon her to death with a hammer.

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Why did the man walk into the grocery store? To provide an alibi for his identical twin who was committing 1st degree murder at the time.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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