Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it wanted to.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

your mama so fat she should go see a doctor.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

ring ring,Who is? you'r face.you'r face how?you'r but hole face.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Three guys went barhopping. One slipped and broke his dick.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Knock, Knock. Who's there? Milkman. Milkman who? I've been coming here for 14 years and you don't even know my name? I helped take your mother to the hospital for crying out loud! I held you in my arms as a baby! And you don't even have the decency to remember MY NAME?! I'm sorry I don't live in a house that allows milk and other groceries to be delivered, I'm sorry that I wasn't born into a nice family with a nice home! I'm sorry that I have had to come here EVERY WEEK FOR FOURTEEN YEARS and you can't even remember my NAME! My name! I left my family for christmas one year to go pick up that elmo doll for you when you were a kid! I saved you from that burning treehouse! I helped you with you're 3rd grade science fair project and you won! YOU WON! We took a picture together that i have kept in my wallet. And i proudly say here's me and timmy. ME AND TIMMY! TIMMY! But no...you don't need to know my name. Well good day sir. You shan't see me again.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Is Charlie Sheen bi-polar? Yes.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Knock Knock! whos there? Me! I kill you!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do you stop a dog from humping your leg? A: Pick him up and suck on his wang!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you get if you cross a man and a horse? Severe internal bleeding.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did tarzan say when he saw the elephants? Here come the elephants

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's the difference between Dick Cheney and Obama? When Obama shoots someone in the face it's bin Laden.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A man walks into a bar Ouch He broke his penis So he ate it Then he saw a little boy They shaved their pubic hair together He raped the little boy He walked into another bar Double ouch

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do you make a plumber sad? You murder his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's hard, long and full of seamen? an erect penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do black people and apples have in common? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A man orders chinese food. His wife says "Honey, where's the cat?"

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q) What's worse than getting a parking ticket? A) The Black Death

thumb_up thumb_down +6

a boy with asperges asked me a question today he asked me again and again because he has asperges

thumb_up thumb_down +6

what do you call a shitty anti-joke? A shitty anti-joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Did you hear the joke about Hellen Keller? Neither did she.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

If you give a mouse a cookie... you're destroying their natural diet.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? There aren't pineapples in the ocean.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

what do you call cheese that's not yours? cheese that you stole.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q.What do Santa Clause and a grape have in common? A.They both have beards. Except for the grape.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops