What is old and fancy and comes in two pieces? Marie Antoinette.

I like my kids how i like my coffee I dont like coffee

do you no what im doing? writing this joke.

A homeless guy gets done with his daily work. where does he go? nowhere he is homeless...

What did Little Jimmie say to his mom when he got home frome school? Nothing his moms dead.

Roses are Red You're Black and Blue My fists seemed to have taken A liking to you

What's hard, long and full of seamen? an erect penis.

Knock knock Who's there? Banana Banana who? Orange Orange who? Banana Banana who? I have AIDS

What's more depressing than watching a worm watching to worms

Xbox One

Q: What do you say to someone who makes fun of you and is bigger than you? A: Nothing, you just punch him in the toe and run away

a horse walks into a bar the bartender says "why the long face?" the horse replies "my wife died yesterday." the next day the bartender wakes up and realises that it didn't happen and that he is a drunk asshole with no life.

What's black and always in the back of a cop car? The seat.

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A bug in your nut.

Martin Skrtel walks into a bar The bar breaks, Martin then pays for any damages caused

How do you get a Hooker Wet? Dump her in a River.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

What has a mouth but cant talk Helen keller What has eyes but cant see Helen keller What has ears but cant hear You guessed it an ear of corn

What did one Stoner say to the other? "I'm hungry, let's order pizza."

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because it would be hazardous to other motorists well-being.

why was the frog sad..... because it had a science lesson with the year 10s about the insides of animals

Holy crap it's a talking muffin!

What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the batmobile? Robin, get in the batmobile

Why did the boy want to sleep in the same bed as his parents? His bedroom was on fire.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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