Q: Why doesn't the young lady speak very much? A: Because she's a whore

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How many walls can you paint with a baby? Depends on how hard you throw it.

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Mr Jones, we're sending you to a mental health clinic

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Lets Go Lakers!

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Why did the man die? He had a heart attack.

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What did the deaf boy get for Christmas? Something like udgtationdaidnmgf

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What do gay cows eat? Grass.

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Racecar is spelled the same forwards and backwards. Masturbation does not work.

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how do you get a clown to fall off a swing? hit it with an axe

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Why did Billy drop his ice cream?? He got hit by a truck.

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At the time my grandfather came round to visit, what was happening in Australia? A giant spider was giving birth.

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(SPOILER ALERT) The following are a few punchlines: "I didn't know what you did, but I stepped on a duck!" "I can't believe I just blew thirty bucks!" "Hold on buddy, I'm about to save you $10,000" "To get to the other side!" "Because 7, 8, 9!" "She had no arms!" "A fridge!" "I don't have Ferrari in my garage!" "The clown can stay, but the Ferengi in the gorilla suit has to go!" "And if it wasn't for my horse, I wouldn't have spent that year in college!" "It was stapled to the chicken!" "I proved it to him." "The holocaust" "Red paint" "A stick." "I wished for a big orange head." "No." "A bicycle is an object and a black man is a human being." "A pilot." "The papa tomato steps on him and says ketchup." "You left your engine running!" "That's what she said." "TV watches you!" "I think so Brain, but where will we get that many cucumbers at this time of night?" "Rectum? Damn near killed him!" "One but it takes two episodes and the bald guy dies."

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One is fun to smash with a sledgehammer. The other is a baby.

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This one time at band camp music was played.

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Have you heard any anti-jokes? ... Are you Jewish by chance?

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I heard you like getting dirty, so I got a dump truck to dump dirt on your bed so you can get dirty while you get dirty.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Bailiffs.

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Why did the man wear his jacket because he was cold

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I am a dog

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How did superman always save the day? Because he was a fictional tv actor so he could do whatever he wanted to.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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420

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What was unprecedented about Roosevelt running for president in 1940? He had polio, he couldn't run!

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What did the black man watch basketball instead of Tennis? Because Basketball is a very popular sport to African Americans, and tests show they can just higher than Caucasians, Asians and Hispanics.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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