How much does a Polar Bear weigh? Approximately 500 lbs

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"Why Do Dogs Bark ? " Because Thats What Their Suppose To Do !

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why did the chicken cross the road? to spend the night with his friend.

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Why dont you ever see any black mermaids? Mermaids dont exist.

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Want to here a joke? The First Amendment.

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My daughter is dying of AIDS.

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Whats the worst way to find out your married. Hungover

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Yeah, and speaking about spiderman, I got some weird senses, when I get stressed things begin seeming slower, and gets a weird blur effect, not sure what it is, but if you know what "bullet hell video games are" Technically games where you play as a tiny spaceship and lots of bullets fly around, I was always awesome at those games as a kid, because the more stress I felt while playing, the slower my perception of time felt.

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What would George washington do if he was still alive He isn't so we dont have to worry about that.

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So a mouse walks into a bar....the bartender immediatly kills it because he doesn't want another C rating by the sanitation department.

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What hurts people but doesn't? Child Birth. -Dave Papile

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Q: What do you call three black people in a car? A: Maltesers

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What did Chuck Norris say to the man that asked for his autograph? He happily obliged and continued on with his day.

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Why did the spoon say hi to the fork? To initiate a conversation.

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What did Jesus say when he was nailed to the cross? AHHHH WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS!?!?!? MY HAND!!! MY HAND!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!! JUST KILL ME!!! PLEASE WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?!?! MY OTHER HAND AHHHH!!! HAHAAAAAAAAAaaaa..... AHHHHHHH WHY?!?! MY LEG!!!! MY FOOT NO!!!!! PLEASE!!!!! Ah AH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAA HAHAHAaaa WHYYYYYYYYY!?

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What did little Sally say to the clown after the party? 'For someone who specializes in entertaining children of a young age, I am slightly underwhelmed at the degree of humor my friends and I have derived from your jokes today.'

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What do you call a black airline pilot? Captain, you big racist.

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what is the diference between a jew and a boy scout. a boy scout comes home from camp.

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Why did the Irishman walk out of the bar? He didn't. He's Irish

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What did one man say to the other? I'm a Mormon.

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This little pig went to market, This little pig stayed at home, This little pig had pork chops, And this little pig was GONE...

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what's worse than finding mommy kissing santa clause ? slave trading

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A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can. Three years later, there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says "What the hell was that all about?"

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What's more annoying than a mosquito? the Sandy Hook Massacre

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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